Well no, I can't sleep (sigh). I seem to have this little battle between "good" and "evil" going on inside my head at THESE hours of the day, yea.
Quite disturbing! I'd just like my mind to shut up for a while now....seriously!!
Battle topic of the moment? Can someone become so hard and cold inside they themselves dislike some of the actions of that person they've become?
I know....maybe right now you went "say what?" Hahahaha irrational thinking....but that's my mind right now.... It's something to deal with, live with and just.... roll with! =p
It's simply stuck THERE!! And weird enough... for as much as I might have been disagreeing with my own acts a while ago, now I already find it ok to think about a possible "next time".
So, the dislike only lasts for a couple of minutes huh? Does the reproachable act just loose it's weigh at some point? Does coldness really freeze down all that it touches? No matter how fervent they came up at some point?
Hmmm...be it what it is, I came to think that the cold side of me is pretty loud mouthed anyways. And this just confirms it. It seems to silence down or overpower any other voice until now. Mute their shouts to nothing...
Well,...every other voice except that-voice-whos-name-I-won't-mention!! But THAT one is worth ignoring (under any circumstances!) Hahahahaha.
Anyways...lemme know what u think of this uhm persistent question! And if it won't be too much asking...elaborate plsz! =)
BTW....I'm posting directly from my phone! So, that's the reason there might be slight differences from the usual posts! But, this is the easiest way to keep the blog up to date about nxt month's vacay AND besides, I already put the laptop to sleep for tonight and was too lazy to "wake it back up".
C- ya in a while! XoXo
Signed,
Miss IcEbOx! XD
Sent from my BlackBerry® device from Digicel
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2 comments:
March 26, 2011 at 1:23 PM
Dear Miss IcEbOx!,
I understand your point of view cause I have had to deal with it myself sometimes. Life can sometimes be so unpredictable and people each day a new and different type of assholes. That you kind sometimes with the right motivation reach the point why bother?
Why put my heart, feeling, myself on the line if I’m just gonna end up, hurt, betrayed or abused. Why care for others? When they will just kick you at the first chance they have. So you start not caring, not reacting, not showing emotions (or if u do react you go bitchy). Cause it’s the safest way to protect yourself and to make sure you don’t get hurt.
You start doing it with small stuff, then you try with another, then another, then it starts becoming easier to do, you enjoy it because it doesn’t take much energy. And before you can realize it your as cold as ice to everyone and everything. Btw being bitchy is just an added bonus! (Although it isn’t always so)
And when you realize that it’s when you start doubting your decisions, yourself and the way that you live. That’s the point where you start not liking yourself too, cause u believe that maybe this isn’t the real you. But since life is so perfect within maybe days it sends another asshole down your path. You of course react cold and you rethink again that maybe it’s for the better. Till you meet a warm soul that makes you wanna change.
But the point in the end is that YES, we as people are becoming more and more emotionally detached from others and objects. Because we are all afraid to get hurt! In some cases it reaches the extremeness of becoming cold and the only way to stop it is, to stop yourself before it becomes more than just a habit. Stop yourself before your way of life s changed forever. Cause it will be a hard, broken road back to something that can pass as normal.
Signed,
The Frozen Storm
March 26, 2011 at 8:40 PM
Dear frozen storm,
disliking an action doesn't mean that I dislike the coldness. I guess I had a flashback, for a moment, of the girl I used to be. Totally not the one you know today. Too bad you haven't had the chance to know her. For that moment I disliked my actions. But I'm all ok with it now! "Next" action is not certain, but I no longer regret the latter as much as I did last night.
Signed,
Miss Icebox
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