0 Ia(m)e

Should you ever come to a crossroad, where external factors are trying to knock so hard against your identity, to the point where your life hath taken a 360 degree turn and you find yourself standing again at square one; stand still...

Who are you really?

What do you want in life?

What is your goal?

What drives you?

How do you plan to excel in life?

External factors are prone to contribute onto forming the humanbeing.

Society sets standards to which we choose to keep ourselves on a daily basis. Your family has certain believes, rules and customs. Your friends have (sometimes without previous agreements) a certain pattern of behavior. "Religion" or whatever spiritual conviction you choose...has rules, regulations, laws and standards. Work/school sets their own behavioral- (& dress) code.
Go on, fill in the names of what/whom else has been (trying to) form you in such a way...

I don't exactly oppose any of the above mentioned. But face it, sometimes they can get pretty irrational; to the point where you loose sight of who you are.
And sometimes people will come to "like" you, solely based on whether or not you keep yourself to their standards. So, in a certain fear of not being "disliked", we sometimes keep ourselves to every single expectation of the person/place we're dealing with.
*If you know your family believes a certain behavior is horrible for people of your color, social status or origin, you choose not to behave like that...JUST because that's what you've been taught...and you don't want to dishonor your family of course.
*Your friend utterly detests it when you speak in a certain tone of voice, so you (try to) control yourself around him/her...even thou you feel perfectly comfortable speaking in THAT particular tone.
*Religion tells you not to do something, and you simply restrain from doing it without really being able to explain the reason why you don't.
* Society tells you to dress in a certain way, so even thou you feel better dressed as an Apache indian, you resolve to wear what society requires you to, to fit in.

Wait, I'm not promoting brutality or liberalism and much less lawbreaking. I'm just trying to tell you to stand still in the midst of it all. Know who YOU really are. And be true to you... Even when merging into the different roles you have in society, don't ever loose YOURSELF from sight.

I...I am Sy. I am (still) a believer. I am multi-talented. I am a strong woman. I am not perfect and neither do I claim to be.I am (sometimes) very outspoken and sarcastic. I paint my nails in extravagant and crazy colors inspite of my serious job. I can be very introverted and secretive. I am a survivor. I am a lover. I am a friend. I spend a lot of time thinking. I am a fighter. I am (sometimes) a shameless flirt. I am loyal, I am a big dreamer, I can act crazy sometimes and enjoy it, I can be difficult, I do laugh about my own stupidity sometimes, I make mistakes...I sometimes avoid facing my problems. I am Sy...

And in the end I am nothing but me, and I hope you love me for me. Not for any possessions i might/might not have. Not for any of my physical traits. Not for what I did, do or don't. Not for keeping up to the rules. Not for obeying the laws and regulations. Not for living up to the social/behavioral/religious standards or for lacking to do so.
And much less for the image of me you've created in your mind. But love me, accept me and appreciate me for me.
And so, this is me; with all my flaws, mistakes, shortcomings, abilities, strongholds and all... And I hope you'll learn to love me for me.

Who are you really?
What is it, that makes you you?
Stop sacrificing who you are...
Discover yourself, love yourself and always be true to yourself! My piece of advice...

0 Agent Sy...reporting!!

So, blog has been in a state of weird comma for the past month. I owe it to myself thou. Vacation, busy schedules, procrastination... The whole package!

I tell you, there's been millions of blog-worthy topics...hope I get the time to share it all bit by bit these coming days. If not, I'll mention them someday. You can be pretty sure of that...I've got that kind of a random mind. :p (I think my friends can tell you)

Well, vacation...??? (Sy puts a wide grin)
Vacation was simply "aaaaaahmazin'" !!! It was relaxing, enjoyable, unforgettable 'n plain cool. I enjoyed the views, the stay, the people, the food, the warmth, the cocktails, the free-vacational spirit...I've enjoyed it all! Mind, heart, body and spirit came back satisfied.
Celebrated my 27th b-day there and it was one of the very best b-days EVER.
Pointing out every single second of my two weeks vacation would be waaaaaaayy too much. So I spare you the (not so juicy) details. LoL
One thing's certain, the Dominican Republic knows how to make me gain weight each and every time I visit. But regardless of THAT bogus point...I might be planning a visit soon again. Maybe....just maybe!
But,sadly enough I've been back to reality for two weeks now. And some parts of reality suck!

One thing I've been pondering about...
It's amazing how one single action can sometimes change our whole perception of someone...
Panic not, maybe my perception of you moved up, instead of down! But some people...argh anyways, I'll figure my way out!

Turning the page , next week I'm starting my Master degree... LAW! I have to admit thou; with mixed feelings. Some part of me really wants this new adventure, new knowledge, new people, new achievement.
But then the other part's so unsure if THIS is what I really want... Packed schedules, study study study, stress, less blogging time and minus zero social life (compared to my already antisocial state).
(Sigh)....THOUGH ONE!!!

On yet another note, as you could deduct from the vacation paragraph...I gained weight on my vacay.
Six whole depressing kilos came back home to momma!!! Told everyone the word "diet" wasn't known where I went... I mean, are you crazy?? Dieting on an all inclusive vacay's absolutely insane! A vacay is a vacay... So I left whatever belongs home right here...at home!
But as soon as I came back I picked it back up, and as for last tuesday when I weighed in, I've lost four of the six. So, "yeay" for still winning the battle against weight gain! This tuesday's weigh in again, we'll see what victory brings us this time!

Anyways dudes and dudettes...I need to go catch a snooze now really... Tomorrow (later on) promises to be a long day!
Every time I can I'll be catching up on the blogging. And if there is a particular topic you want to see me blog about just lemme know...
We'll see what I can do about that. :p
Signing out and laying down the duties for the night...
Yours always,
Sy

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0 Femme Supreme (LOL)

ZAP!

POW!

ZOINK!

....tic- toc, tic-toc, tic, toc......

KA-BOOM!

Didn’t you ever wish you were one of those figures in a comic book? What if WE were the super hero, the villain or just a powerful professor in a fiction story? What if...what if we had mega mighty, extra cool, super powers?

Maybe you’ve once asked yourself that question. Or perhaps someone once asked you...What if you had a superpower? Which superpower do you wish you’d have?

I’M UNDECISIVE! I can never decide to have just ONE superpower... There’s ohhh-soo-MUCH that I’d like to do, and just one superpower won’t suffice.

I’d like uhm, INVISIBILITY (ability to render the user unseen to the naked eye)!!! Just picture how much you could do,...if you could make yourself temporarily invisible.

Also give me SUPERHUMAN SENSES (ability to see, smell, taste, feel and or hear more than a normal human). Just the thought of it...gives me such an awesome feeling!!!

Uhm add ...MENTAL PROJECTION (ability to project one's consciousness/psyche/emotions into the astral plane, into another, or to make them real). If only I could make some mental things real...hahahah...OMG!

I think I’d also want PRECOGNITION (ability to perceive the future. It may be expressed in vague dreams while asleep, other times it can be clear and can occur at will. It may also be used as a form of "danger sense" to show the user that they are being threatened and from what direction it is coming from.) But this one I’d only want to a certain extent. I just don’t think it would be so very cool to know EVERYTHING from the future. (And Sy shivers at the thought.)

TELEPATHY is also a superpower I’d like to have. The ability to read the thoughts of, or to mentally communicate with others. I can do sooooo much if I had telepathy... (wink-wink)

Furthermore we add powers such as:

·         Elasticity: Ability to stretch, deform, expand or contract one's body into any form imaginable.

·         Illusion: Ability to alter or deceive the perceptions of another. Can be sensory, a light or sound-based effect, or an alteration of mental perceptions.

·         Teleportation:  Ability to move from one place to another without occupying the space in between.

·         Time manipulation: Ability to affect the flow of time by slowing, accelerating, reversing, or stopping it.
(Especially when you are at work and time just wouldn’t fly. Or when you just don’t want a moment to end)

·         Telekinesis: Ability to manipulate and control objects with the mind, often in ways not visible to the naked eye. (This would simply be OFF THE HOOK!!)

·         Instant learning: Ability to instantly and perfectly learn any subject. (Handy...VERY handy)

·         Invulnerability: Ability to be immune to one or more forms of physical damage.

·         X-ray vision: Ability to see through solid matter

·         Telescopic or microscopic vision: Ability to magnify vision to various levels.

...just to mention a few!

But then again... looking at my own list, knowing there are more I'd like to add and giving it a second thought I think it’s a pretty good thing we do not have the possibility to have superpowers.
 ‘Cause if there would be just a handful of people like me, who wouldn’t have sufficient with just one power, this world would have probably collapsed by now!

I want to have these superpowers...not to do anything outstandingly courageous or to save the day. Most of these superpowers I wish I’d had would have satisfied my own egotistical desires, wants and needs.

But why not just let our imaginations run wild? I know we all go through those moments when we take one deep breath and secretly wish we had the power to manipulate the given moment, person and/or circumstances.
We’ve all been a child and back then we’ve all wished at a certain point to trade places/ be our favorite character in a story and/or cartoon. Maybe because we thought that character was cool, beautiful or...simply because.

Don’t let that inner child die! Even now, you can close your eyes and imagine...YOU, a mere human being...with the incredible power/ability to do something totally WACK!!!  Whatever it is! Nothing's impossible for your imagination!
Be it by a selfish ambition or if you have a bigger dream...like SAVING THE WORLD for instance!

1 Tinted windows...

I wonder if there’s any truth behind that saying... “The eyes are the windows to the soul”.
I mean, do we really have windows? Can people really see through each other’s eyes and get a glance of what really lives inside? Their thought? Attitudes? Emotions? Like when I look through any window...and I see the furniture, I see the people inside, I might see a flamboyant painting on the wall...through a window I can see...INSIDE A BUILDING, inside a room.

So, if this is true, you mean to say that there is more to the eye than blinking, seeing, observing, crying, looking and staring?

Recently I’ve been told something about myself I somehow know is true, but which I didn’t want to admit. The person in question said “You know Sy, I think blah blah blah...as a matter of fact, I KNOW it is like that.” And I indifferently answered: “And how does the wiz kid think to have gotten such untruthful insight?” To which the person answered: “I’ve seen it in your eyes Sy, you can’t hide it. I just KNOW it’s the truth”.
Well at that moment I tried to act as thou I wanted to say “believe what you may, I know the it's the contrary”. But I knew...I knew it for a fact...this person was telling the truth...

You know me; I’ve tried to search for answers!!
What do you see when you really look through someone’s windows? How can you tell if... ? (Sigh)

Physiology apparently says that people can tell certain things depending on the position of your eyes when saying or thinking a certain thing. Like this:

And they believe it’s not something we learn, for even blind people do it. It is more of a cognitive function of the human body.

Psychology states that he eyes are indeed an important medium through which we communicate our wants and needs. And they take babies and infants as an example... The way a baby that is being bottle fed looks directly into the eye of the one that’s feeding him, to mention one example.
And psychologists say that people can show disrespect  or tell that they're willing to fight 'by maintaining a continuous eye contact with someone. But on the other side they can also seduce, coy and show sexual interest.

And then there’s another theory that states that you can notice emotions by observing someone’s pupils during an interaction. Their pupils will dilate as when exposed to poor light. Enlarged pupils indicate powerful emotions, including anger, suspicion, and deep thought. They also imply arousal, excitement, and interest.

I really don’t know...

Yes, I’ve seen things in other people’s eyes sometime. But having people look into yours and point out stuff you don’t want to accept and/ or deal with, is definitely scary.
I say, if the eyes are such transparent windows I guess I’d like to tint mine... Who said I wanted just anyone to look inside anyways? If perhaps I’d want you to take a look someday, I then open the window for you...myself

But don’t you dare to just look through my windows,...at least not yet!

1 You're my favorite cup o' tea...

“Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea” (Henry Fielding)

Pass me a cup of tea…with the juiciest news about another person’s story of love or irrevocable scandal and I’ll drift away for a while in the sweet aroma of… a gossip. Whether the love story is true or if the scandalous story really happened? I couldn’t care less… Right now, this is pure hot news.

We all love ourselves some juicy story…don’t deny, don’t deny! But at the moment you realize how some of those stories started…it is simply hilarious.

A male friend of mine occasionally visits me during lunch break to walk around, chit-chat, have lunch…or just hang. Nothing out of this world…

A couple of colleagues noticed his visits and almost immediately started making insinuations.  You know, giving you that look that says “hm, I know something about youuu” and a huge significant smile every time they see you guys together.  And in moments like these you don’t even mind correct them; Let everyone believe what they want…we know the truth.

So yesterday my friend came again for lunch break! He’s used to greet me with a hug, and since I’ve received a wonderful news earlier that morning (which I’ll have to share later) he hugged me extra hard to give his congrats on the wonderful achievement…on the parking lot at the office!!!

Logically people would see huh! And bingo! Two colleagues(say, Colleague 1 and colleague 2) walked out and found us in the middle of our hard greeting & congratulating hug.
One of them remarked immediately (in a joking tone) “What is this? What is this? What is this?” And as far as I can remember we just smiled and shrugged…

Funny part was, when I came back in after lunch and was going to the toilet…
Upon seeing me walking by her office, colleague 1 started commenting loudly to another colleague. (The short dialogue went something like THIS! C1 is the colleague who saw me and O is the other)
(C1): “You should have seen Sy today during lunch break, fully wrapped in a hug….with a guy…ON THE   PARKING LOT!!”
(O): “(Gaaaaaasssppp)No kidding me, what else?”
(C1): “I think there was even kissing…French kissing. With tongue and everything! They were holding each other so tight!”
(O): “You can’t be serious….you mean…SYYYYY?? On the parking lot???? OMG!!"

And while passing their office I dropped the first thing that came to mind, “ow ahum, remember to mention that the next minute, we were lying on the floor…”. And we all laughed about the remark…

Moments later another colleague came to me and all laughing she told me that colleague 2 also mentioned (I supposed in the canteen) that there was A LOT of hugging going on on the parking lot this noon. Between Sy and a guy…

And I can imagine what’s next… when whoever from the office (that doesn’t know us, and how we behave around each other) sees me and this male friend together on any other occasion…

Lol….yup….Cup o' tea anyone?
Cause in the end, we all love ourselves some gossip!!! Don’t we? =)
“Show me someone who never gossips and I’ll show you someone who isn’t interested in people” (Barbara Walters)

Just remember:

“Don’t repeat anything you will not sign your name to” (Author Unknown)

0 The blanco sheet...

It just crossed my mind, I didn't blog in like, AGES.
Many blog-worthy things happened between my last post and today!! But hey, you know the syndromes...laziness, procrastination, a lack of right words, packed schedules...and an ongoing avalanche of motives.

And yesterday when I decided I'd finally blog....my mind was BLANK!
                                                                 Simply.... unacceptable....xD

So, here's what I tried to do....
I tried to focus on one specific thing I'd find exciting. You know, something that makes you sit up straight in your chair with a (perhaps) mischievous grin on your thoughtful face. Something you can spent hours thinking of; adding details and making it a big, full body boom! But after holding on to any thought for a couple of minutes...capoof! Gone in thin air...
So I decided to try searching the internet! I mean, hey, I can pick a topic I find interesting and get lost in search. But that interesting topic was nowhere to be found.
Well, I gave a shot to recent events. There is ALWAYS a thought-provoking event you've recently been through, right? And yes,...the event was there... But as easily as it came...it disappeared. Like magic, one second it's there and then the next it isn't!

I could picture my mind all quiet and alone...sitting on a swing in a dark place...
Doing nothing else but swinging back and forth...without saying a word. hahahahaha. It's eyes fixed on something in the distance without really looking at anything. Occasionally shrugging, nodding, sighing and shifting positions on the swing when it gets tired of sitting in a certain posture. And then, out of nowhere, breaking the awkwardness with a smile as the silence becomes uncomfortable and raises questions.
LoL.... I KNOW...sounds like a monologue of such a drama-momma :D But it's the way I pictured the whole blank mind state I was lingering in.

It was just weird! It's relaxing, stimulating and yet so apathetic and scaring at the same time, can't really explain.
It's not that I've never been through this before,...it's just the first time I write about it :D
How I wrote this with a blank mind? I don't know! I just EXPLAINED the actual mental state I went through yesterday. Consider it... my actual best shot on the explanation of a blank mind state.
If you've never had one and want to know what it feels like...purchase one here!

They say they have the BEST deals!!!
I'm sorry,I can't offer you mine. Mine can't be bestowed mine that easily, it's worth way too much...

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