0 I am but a child

Many a times the most precious gifts come in "packages" we weren't expecting. We always want more...no matter how much we have. And there’s nothing wrong with having more, as long as you don’t harm others in your pursuit.

But how about appreciating the silly little gifts life has given us?

Call me a hoarder if you want, I have a big plastic box filled with the silliest things.

All gotten from people with huge loving hearts...young and old.

I got engaged, ladies and gentlemen. And of course I added the ring to the collection. It is the most beautiful ring someone has ever given to me. I mean, really, you should see the stone in it...it's simply breathtaking...

Words are not enough to tell you...I'm one of the most blessed women of the earth!

(p.s the stone blinks with a red light when you bend your finger. Sorry I couldn't catch that on camera). Don't be jealous ladies...don’t be jealous!

Hahaha, FINE! it's just a ring I got from my niece and nephew the other day. And my heart really smiles every time I remember the excitement in their voices when asking me to guess what my gift was.

Nope, it wasn't my birthday, it wasn't any special occasion, i just got home from work...tired as ever and I got a pink plastic ring with a flashing red light... JUST BECAUSE...

And this is not the first time... I have all the silliest gifts from my babies;

·         a handmade get well soon card from Nhomies,

·          a drawing of a Sunday school (and also an I love you written on the whiteboard in my room) by Giliani,

·         Genesis' name handwritten by himself with colorful pencils and also a person he drew on a big sheet and

·         "money" from Nheiyo (don't tell anybody it's nothing but two mud covered stones).

I also have handwritten letters from the little bro, asking me to come sleep in his room...from waaaayy back...complete with a drawing of our family and his 'signature' on the bottom.

I have empty candy wraps...which were supposed to symbolize a beautiful picture of me, I have leaves, a 'curious George' bandage ...you name the silly gift and I probably have it (and love it).

Perhaps you laughed, or maybe this reminds you of silly gifts you might have gotten as well.

One thing is true...if we could only see the world through a child's eyes again...we'd see that living shouldn't necessarily be as complicated as we make it sometimes.

Yes, we grownups have responsibilities a child doesn't even dream of. We don't have time for silly things you might say. Or, that it's all a waste of time and energy.

On the other hand, take life too serious and you might realize right at the end of your days that you haven't enjoyed the drops of happiness life has served you in the silly. So why don't we loosen up a little? Have a little fun, enjoy the silly (sometimes even nonsensical) things in life.

There's so much we can learn from life if we'd see the world through a child's eyes, thou (of course) with the knowledge we have today.

·    Be Creative!  Children are mega creative. They can create a whole world while playing...merely in their little heads. To the childrens'creativity, there is no boundaries, no impossibilities. They believe just anything is possible...an in the end, who says it isn't so.

·    Have Fun! I've played an unknown board game with my nephew of three the other day. Only (and I mean only) using stones. No rules, no board, no nothing...even the dice was a stone. And we had FUN. Sit down and watch children at play sometime...it is a moment of supreme joy. The child within wants to play a little...let it out!

·    Love HUGE! A child's love is the most beautiful and pure kind of love out there. Even when you get mad at them this minute...and the next thing you know, you get one of the cutest handwritten apologies or a simple hug that melts your anger away.

·    Over think?? NAAAHH!!; Children believe in the impossible, they don't attach any boundaries to their dreams, and they are willing to travel wherever their imagination wants to take them.

·    Playtime!! Do you remember how mad you could get when you were in the middle of a fun game and your parents called you?  (AAARGH MOM..Not now). What if I tell you, you can get playful as much as you want now? Yup...LIFE, LAUGH...ENJOY

You know? Age doesn't really define how old we truly are... And I'm not talking about the physical of course. But WE decide the ultimate age of our souls!!!

Our attitude, our approach to life, our thoughts, our heart and spirits...such things determine much more than our age. They determine what we do and don't achieve. They determine whether we dare to take risks or not. They determine the way we approach relationships and even the way we perceive ourselves.

Age is just a number, if somewhere in your heart you're holding on to that silly little child inside.

The child that gets a giggling attack for the most unexplained reasons. The child that can invent the most delicious cakes with mud, that child that sees the world through a glass of immeasurable possibilities. The child that is willing to take on any adventure at all. The child that dreams... and believes. Yes believes that

·         “superheroes” exist in real life (aha, they do. They just don’t wear super suits. My mom for instance is an awesome one. And I know a few more),

·         love can conquer,

·         there is still good in the world (starting in YOUR heart),

·         you can be anything you set their minds to be (yup...ANYTHING) and...

·         anything is possible.

Hold on...Hold on tight to that playful, beautiful, awesome child within.

I'm not asking you to go through your everyday activities leaping like a little child, I’m just asking you to not lose contact with the little child in you.

The plea is to believe immeasurably, to dream big, to pursue without getting tired, to love more, to do without over thinking...to live your life fully

It's one of the most rejuvenating experiences ever; to get in touch with that inner child every now and then. C'mon...there's nothing shameful about that! You have nothing to lose...

You know, Just saying...

0 Day 10; WEIGHT and see

SO, last Saturday was the first weigh in after the start of this 40 days weight loss challenge...

I'm that type of a person who normally feels it (physically) when I've lost weight. You know, I feel altogether lighter!
But last Saturday I simply did not know what to expect. I guess it was all due to the ever present muscle pain and some light bloating thanks to the upcoming shark week.

"6:45am at SDK... BE ON TIME!", said the trainer on Friday night, "and bring a fruit or something to eat thereafter, cause we're having boot camp!"
(SHEEEEZZZ...seriously?!?! THAT early on a Saturday morning???)

YYYYUP!!!

But when you truly want something, you'd go for it no matter what, right? All the way...
So there I was last Saturday, right on time!! And... (Sy does a weird happy dance here)... I've lost a total of 3.7 Kgs already!!!!! WHOOOOOHHOOOOOTTT!!!

AHA! And I also survived boot camp. Even if that meant to sprint with my last strength, kicking the sneakers off and keep on sprinting, squat, jump and staying breathless and shaking thereafter. (Read: boot camp was the harshest hours of training in the past week. SOME SERIOUSLY SEVERE TRAINING; to my humble opinion) But, I survived!

So, here we stand, at the beginning of week # 2...with blisters on my toes and sore muscles that just won’t ease up. Besides that all, today I feel HUNGRY! I'm seriously craving FOODDDD. I guess I have shark week to thank therefore too...
But I'm determined to absorb as much of the positivism as possible from this experience. So chill out, I'm not cheating! I'm going to behave...

Signing out in wait for lunchtime :)


A slightly lighter Sy!

0 And I loved!

So yesterday was V-day and... I hope you had a beautiful one!
Red and white EVERYWHERE, arrangements being sent by (secret) admirers/ lovers, candle-lit romantic encounters, beautiful wishes, kisses, tight hugs, sweet poems, teddy bears, chocolate boxes, heart-shaped balloons, declarations of love, cuddling...Have I forgotten something?

A widely commercialized holiday, yes, but to my opinion with an important meaning and a life-lesson behind it.
When you come to think about it, which holiday isn’t really commercialized these days?

V-day is truly about LOVE...
The feeling that makes the world go round. In the end, what is a human-being without love?
Mr. George Sand quotes: “There’s only one happiness in life, to love and to be loved.” Of course, life’s got other things that bring happiness to a person’s heart... and maybe we should discuss the topic of happiness on another occasion; but love is surely one of the most important ingredients to a fulfilling life.

People may think about romantic dinners, lovely cards, secret admirers and “couple-to-couple-kissy-kissy-love” when the name valentine is mentioned...but in the end it’s more than just that...much, much more.

It is about the love of your family, the companionship of a friend, the thoughtfulness, feeling you are important to people, feeling appreciated...simple silly reminders that you matter to those around you and that they matter to you in return.

No, I wasn’t showered with gifts yesterday, but I’m sure that each one that I received was given directly from the heart. And each one that I have given out was undoubtedly meant to translate sincere love and appreciation to the people in my life.

You don’t NEED to buy the commercialized stuff to celebrate LOVE...make a card of your own, write ‘I love you’ on your loved one’s arm, give them a  spontaneous heart-warming hug, SHOW some love...love some more.
And even if next time you choose to buy a bouquet of roses, a box of chocolate, a hallmark card or invite the person out for an expensive dinner...that’s all good...as long as it’s given wholeheartedly.

Thou I believe it is important to constantly show love...not just on February the 14^th. And it’s not  even the material gifts that matters most, it’s the gift of you...to the people you love.
So, go ahead and act totally silly....send out a message to wish someone a happy love day; cause you loved them yesterday and you still love them today.

And, by the way... happy love day to you too while you read this...

Have a meaningful, heart-warming, happy one...

Yours always,

A lovebug

0 Ia(m)e

Should you ever come to a crossroad, where external factors are trying to knock so hard against your identity, to the point where your life hath taken a 360 degree turn and you find yourself standing again at square one; stand still...

Who are you really?

What do you want in life?

What is your goal?

What drives you?

How do you plan to excel in life?

External factors are prone to contribute onto forming the humanbeing.

Society sets standards to which we choose to keep ourselves on a daily basis. Your family has certain believes, rules and customs. Your friends have (sometimes without previous agreements) a certain pattern of behavior. "Religion" or whatever spiritual conviction you choose...has rules, regulations, laws and standards. Work/school sets their own behavioral- (& dress) code.
Go on, fill in the names of what/whom else has been (trying to) form you in such a way...

I don't exactly oppose any of the above mentioned. But face it, sometimes they can get pretty irrational; to the point where you loose sight of who you are.
And sometimes people will come to "like" you, solely based on whether or not you keep yourself to their standards. So, in a certain fear of not being "disliked", we sometimes keep ourselves to every single expectation of the person/place we're dealing with.
*If you know your family believes a certain behavior is horrible for people of your color, social status or origin, you choose not to behave like that...JUST because that's what you've been taught...and you don't want to dishonor your family of course.
*Your friend utterly detests it when you speak in a certain tone of voice, so you (try to) control yourself around him/her...even thou you feel perfectly comfortable speaking in THAT particular tone.
*Religion tells you not to do something, and you simply restrain from doing it without really being able to explain the reason why you don't.
* Society tells you to dress in a certain way, so even thou you feel better dressed as an Apache indian, you resolve to wear what society requires you to, to fit in.

Wait, I'm not promoting brutality or liberalism and much less lawbreaking. I'm just trying to tell you to stand still in the midst of it all. Know who YOU really are. And be true to you... Even when merging into the different roles you have in society, don't ever loose YOURSELF from sight.

I...I am Sy. I am (still) a believer. I am multi-talented. I am a strong woman. I am not perfect and neither do I claim to be.I am (sometimes) very outspoken and sarcastic. I paint my nails in extravagant and crazy colors inspite of my serious job. I can be very introverted and secretive. I am a survivor. I am a lover. I am a friend. I spend a lot of time thinking. I am a fighter. I am (sometimes) a shameless flirt. I am loyal, I am a big dreamer, I can act crazy sometimes and enjoy it, I can be difficult, I do laugh about my own stupidity sometimes, I make mistakes...I sometimes avoid facing my problems. I am Sy...

And in the end I am nothing but me, and I hope you love me for me. Not for any possessions i might/might not have. Not for any of my physical traits. Not for what I did, do or don't. Not for keeping up to the rules. Not for obeying the laws and regulations. Not for living up to the social/behavioral/religious standards or for lacking to do so.
And much less for the image of me you've created in your mind. But love me, accept me and appreciate me for me.
And so, this is me; with all my flaws, mistakes, shortcomings, abilities, strongholds and all... And I hope you'll learn to love me for me.

Who are you really?
What is it, that makes you you?
Stop sacrificing who you are...
Discover yourself, love yourself and always be true to yourself! My piece of advice...

0 When the minor takes control...

This morning I read some very wise words. And I personally took them as an advice to self, on the quest to building up a smarter and stronger character.

It said;

“Try to remember to think long-term and don’t let minor annoyances distract you from more important issues”

Thinking long-term... I guess sometimes we all need to be reminded to do this, don’t we?
 We’re all human, and sometimes we fret so much about the small insignificant stuff that we forget to focus on the bigger pictures of life. And so do I sometimes, even if I might not always show.

Beautiful things, valuable lessons and awe filling moments can easily pass us by...’cause we’ve got our attention fixed on the wrong stuff.

These days I’ve had some of those minor annoyances. The problem is not exactly having them. The problem is letting them linger in your mind enough to worry you, push you down and become a major cancer ball that takes away your peace of mind, your joy of living, your love to life and in times, even your health.

It is sometimes inevitable, for these small drops that fill our buckets are right there to deal with at each step of our ways. You can actually do nothing to avoid them. They are sometimes in our families, in our work environment, at school... You name it!
The art is to find a way to not let them distract us from the important issues in our lives. Not to let them push us down.

I believe in order for something to distract us, it simply needs to get a good grip of our attention. It should in some way or another arrest our mind, rationality and emotions and obstructs clear thinking.

For a minor annoyance to distract us from an important issue it needs first to get powerful enough to push down whatever else occupies your thoughts at the moment.
And the mind and emotions are a pro at doing that if we’d only let them have their way. All of a sudden you FEEL as thou the person greeted you in a strange way, you THINK they must be right you can’t do certain things, you BELIEVE that you’re bound to become no more than this heap of problems and then suddenly you are CONVINCED that the world might end for you because of this.

It is, truly a challenge in life...for each one of us, to start believing we are extraordinary creatures; big enough to tackle whatever circumstance that crosses our path. Definitely bigger than any small and insignificant annoyance.
And  that we’re meant for bigger things in life...meant to attend important issues. Meant for BIGGER, BETTER and more CHALLENGING pictures.
And at the moment we realize this, the minor annoyances start appearing so small, so unimportant, sooo diminutive they diminish from being as important as to distract us from the more important stuff in live.

0 The Victory

Promise made is a debt unpaid.  ~Robert Service

The day before yesterday, when I was drowning in my anguish about the exam, I made a promise; that I will inform you in due time about the results.
By now, most of my actual followers know the result already... HA-HA you guys couldn’t handle to just wait huh? Impatient!!!

But hey, it’s totally understandable. Having to wait is a virtue only a few have mastered...lol

Most of you know how much I “loved” working on this thesis. And most of you know how much I’ve been through to make it this far. Including totally sleepless nights and completely re-writing the damn thing. In an earlier post (dated March 19 2011) I expressed myself for the first time on this blog about the frustration of making a thesis. But surely I finished the post saying (and I quote) :

“Just a couple of months left to fight this “thesis virus” and by June 2011 I’ll be stronger, wiser, better & GRADUATED.”

The moment I stepped in the meeting room where I had to defend my thesis, I had nothing else in mind but this.

Don’t ask how the conversation went. I can still remember how I was shaking, thinking hard, hoping, fighting and trying to look strong...ALL AT THE SAME TIME. And I can’t recall much, the minutes went by fast, the questions were unexpected and the faces of the 4 people sitting at that table were (at that moment) blank...no approval and or disapproval was to be read on their faces. My heart was beating in my throat, my hands were shaking...and it almost felt like crying from pure nervousness.

And it did go though my head...”What if I didn’t make it?” But the need to finish was much stronger, and continuously it hushed that voice that wanted to doubt.

My mom was the person who has strengthened me the most. She didn’t do much neither did she say much. But the whole morning, only with her attitude and her being, she was mega supportive and calming.
And at the moment I left the only thing she said, “In the name of God, my child”. That was enough to boost me for the last mile...

The moment was unforgettable! And as nervous as I could have been, I’m glad I went through it. All of it has contributed to make me indeed stronger, wiser, better and yes...also GRADUATED.
And I wouldn’t trade the feeling for a dime...

Seems as thou I faced another barrier, I fought a giant...and I came out victorious. Next monster...HERE I COME!!!

As I said in my previous post...THIS WAS IT! And indeed...it marked the reaping of 6 long years of hard work, tears, sweat and perseverance. But I tell you, the fruit sure is sweet!