0 she; falsely extinguished

He called it desire; that feeling she had when she saw someone or smelled something that reminded her of him.
She? She called it stubborn persistence of the memory. 'Cause other than those moments when she suddenly gets all warm inside again, there was nothing but ashes.
She can't complain, has such good set of brains... The brains that stood her by through many times when she engaged in a mind game with any pretentious individual.
The only downside of these brains would be the ability to play these mind games to herself from time to time. Consequently causing a total short circuit in her performance.

Like, when she sees someone that reminded her of him... (sigh)
You see, the person didn't necessarily need to have ANYTHING that looked remotely identical to his; any gesture, body movement or piece of clothing could do the trick. And don't even mention catching a random sniff of his perfume in the air when someone passes by...

It's kind of an indescribable mixture of nostalgia, spasm, a physical warm tickle, passion and wanting...igniting in her, like when you pour gas on a fire. There isn't a single part of her that doesn't experience it, even to it's deepest intensity.Yes, even the little hair cells on her head! So intense, it feels as thou it's consuming her completely.

When it happens, it happens in less than a blinking of an eye. Old memories arise like a swarm of bees...a whole multitude of them.
And  she momentarily completely loose herself in "if-only", "never-again" and "would-have-been"...

But than again, come on,  it's just THAT...nothing but a momentary flame. A fire that looses its vigor as fast as it catches it. A fire who's momentary furry can be easily stored in the deepest darkest corner of her being ...until next time;...yes, until the moment comes when she re-encounters whatever reminder of him along her passage of life... any vague memory able to enkindle it all again.

Yet she won't call it desire. Isn't a desiresomething more intense?
When itcomes to her, in between fire and fire, stays nothing but cold insignificant ashes...ashes that won't even recal his subsistence sometimes,let stand remembering him with such ardent fervor....such ravenous wanting..such genuine ferociousness.

1 You're my favorite cup o' tea...

“Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea” (Henry Fielding)

Pass me a cup of tea…with the juiciest news about another person’s story of love or irrevocable scandal and I’ll drift away for a while in the sweet aroma of… a gossip. Whether the love story is true or if the scandalous story really happened? I couldn’t care less… Right now, this is pure hot news.

We all love ourselves some juicy story…don’t deny, don’t deny! But at the moment you realize how some of those stories started…it is simply hilarious.

A male friend of mine occasionally visits me during lunch break to walk around, chit-chat, have lunch…or just hang. Nothing out of this world…

A couple of colleagues noticed his visits and almost immediately started making insinuations.  You know, giving you that look that says “hm, I know something about youuu” and a huge significant smile every time they see you guys together.  And in moments like these you don’t even mind correct them; Let everyone believe what they want…we know the truth.

So yesterday my friend came again for lunch break! He’s used to greet me with a hug, and since I’ve received a wonderful news earlier that morning (which I’ll have to share later) he hugged me extra hard to give his congrats on the wonderful achievement…on the parking lot at the office!!!

Logically people would see huh! And bingo! Two colleagues(say, Colleague 1 and colleague 2) walked out and found us in the middle of our hard greeting & congratulating hug.
One of them remarked immediately (in a joking tone) “What is this? What is this? What is this?” And as far as I can remember we just smiled and shrugged…

Funny part was, when I came back in after lunch and was going to the toilet…
Upon seeing me walking by her office, colleague 1 started commenting loudly to another colleague. (The short dialogue went something like THIS! C1 is the colleague who saw me and O is the other)
(C1): “You should have seen Sy today during lunch break, fully wrapped in a hug….with a guy…ON THE   PARKING LOT!!”
(O): “(Gaaaaaasssppp)No kidding me, what else?”
(C1): “I think there was even kissing…French kissing. With tongue and everything! They were holding each other so tight!”
(O): “You can’t be serious….you mean…SYYYYY?? On the parking lot???? OMG!!"

And while passing their office I dropped the first thing that came to mind, “ow ahum, remember to mention that the next minute, we were lying on the floor…”. And we all laughed about the remark…

Moments later another colleague came to me and all laughing she told me that colleague 2 also mentioned (I supposed in the canteen) that there was A LOT of hugging going on on the parking lot this noon. Between Sy and a guy…

And I can imagine what’s next… when whoever from the office (that doesn’t know us, and how we behave around each other) sees me and this male friend together on any other occasion…

Lol….yup….Cup o' tea anyone?
Cause in the end, we all love ourselves some gossip!!! Don’t we? =)
“Show me someone who never gossips and I’ll show you someone who isn’t interested in people” (Barbara Walters)

Just remember:

“Don’t repeat anything you will not sign your name to” (Author Unknown)

4 Million dollar questions

I have two...questions today really eating at my brain cells.

Question 1. (And I just need to get it off my chest before moving on)
Why would someone literally ridicule himself on a social network site in order to catch someone else's attention?
I mean, can u really be that desperate? Dude, nobody's a lollipop....quit the sucking.

Commenting on one thing is normal. Commenting and liking 2 or 3 things is still acceptable. But commenting and liking EVERYTHING the person posts....is synonym to despair! Ahum,....boy....the sink's full and the laundry's dirty. A.k.a. GET A JOB! It shouldn't be decent at all...it should just be a job....to get you off the internet.

Nope, didn't happen to me this time (and I'm grateful)....lucky dog! It just gotten to my attention...and I blogged about it. If it happened to me, I think I would have....uhm you know what, let's jump to the nxt question!

Question nr 2. Why would is it that we hide what we really feel for a certain person?
This question really popped up after a small convo with a friend.

Made me really ask myself whether all the people around me (atleast the most important ones) really know how I feel about them...
And I conclude,... they probably don't.
He doesn't know I love him so much it's almost uncontainable, she doesn't know an intense burst of hate wells up in me every now and then towards her, they don't know I'm tired of it all,  I'm sure she doesn't know how much I appreciate her, he doesn't know I think he can be a whiny cry baby at times....

Sigh...so many things to say, so little courage.

Cuz yes, I think that plays a cardinal role...COURAGE. We are afraid how the person will react, we don't really know if we SHOULD tell anything, a bunch of 'what  if's' pop u'p, our own head tells us to better shut up. And the heart reaffirms..."Yes keep it to yourself...to the grave". Lack of courage is not the only motive of course.... Nah I don't think it is.

But what if it didn't really matter? What if you could tell me straight up to my face what you really feel for me..without the occurence of something awkward or dreadful? Without all the masquerade and all? What if the standards of the world didn't matter? What if my reaction to your confession wouldn't be that frightening for a moment? What if my ears could hear you say it and my eyes could watch as the words dance out of your lips. What if you gained all the courage in the world....would you tell me? Would you tell me the truth?

I would....but if I only had the courage!


Sent from my BlackBerry® device from Digicel

5 Stand still, I'd like to measure your heart's content...

Define love…!

The feeling and showing of love sure isn’t a new point of discussion. Countless people have discussed the topic for as long as the earth itself exists.
And many poured their innermost on paper, trying to explain this subject. I’m sure,…even while I write this blog, countless people worldwide are showing, thinking of- or writing about love.
Thou I think, the differences in opinion won’t ever seize

I was speaking to a friend this afternoon, which I must mention that I love EXTREMELY much.

And while conversing, he mentioned that he loves me “infinitely much”. (aaaaaaww)

Now, for as sweet as it might be, for someone to love you oh-so-much, “is it even possible to love someone to the INFINITE level?”

Hmmmmm…

Cause this is the deal.

When we talk about infinite, we talk about something immeasurable, of infinite quantity or magnitude, unbounded, EXCEEDINGLY great, never-ending and LIMITLESS.

And love from one person to the other has a limit, right? ‘Cause I say, what will happen in (for example) 10 years if I had done something that made me unworthy of your love. And it comes to pass that you don’t love me anymore. What then, happened to the infinity…where did it go, if it was meant to be limitless?

Hmmm, I wonder….I really do.

Share your thoughts on the matter please!
 I’d love to hear what you think…

I personally like the Greek way of putting it all ( I’d personally add some more definitions =p).
 But they have 4 different names & definitions for the word “love”. This, depending on how the love is expressed or what type of love is being spoken of.

They have:

·         Eros Love

·         Storge love

·         Phileo love and

·         Agape

Eros as we can all imagine, (it even sounds like the word ‘erotic’) is the passionate kind of love, only based on flesh-satisfying, sexual attraction, desire and sensuality.

Storge (or sometimes referred to as Oikos) is the type of love you’d share with your household.  To your mother, father(s), sister and brother(s). Literally translated it stands for “affection”.

Phileo love  is that kind of love you’d show to your friends. Literally translated the word means friendship. Phileo love thou, isn’t only shared between friends; but also between family members, lovers, the community as well as when enjoying an activity. It is the type of love that requires virtue, equality and familiarity. It is important to mention that Phileo love does not involve passion.  Philia(as they also call it) CAN be a selfish type of love; by showing love only to others if you  can gain benefits from it. Even hidding behind the truest of motives.

Agape is the biggest of the four; and it denotes an unconditional love. A.K.A., the sacrificial kind of love.
 I personally like how Paolo Coelho describes it in his book ‘The Pilgrimage’; "the love that consumes," i.e., the highest and purest form of love, one that surpasses all other types of affection.

Still infinite love’s got me…is it or isn’t it possible? As for me,…I can very most definitely love you in Eros, I do love my household in the Storge sense, the Phileo is surely also on my love list and I can even try the Agape. But, infinite love?  Uhm….do I dare to commit to such a level?

One thing’s certain, my love might not be infinite…but fact is…I DO love!

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.”

                                                                                                                               1 Corinthians 13:1-3