1 She; Difficult much

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Suddenly she remembers once again, the speech she heard some weeks ago. And as it vividly comes back to her mind how she sat at the humorous speech competition and laughed about the irony of the situation, she can only smile and think “Gosh, I wouldn’t have dared thinking that I’d be tested so fast?”
Her eldest niece had just turned 8 a month ago. This little lady is smart, loving, bright and most of all....considerably curious. And at those times when her inquiring mind strikes, there’s no stopping her storm of questions.
“What’s this?”, she asks as she grabs the colorfully wrapped tampon from the box on the bathroom shelf. Her aunt, who was standing in the bathroom mirror putting up her make-up couldn’t possibly imagine what she was asking an explanation for this time. And little did she know that this question would have required thorough pondering and better preparation. She turned around to see her niece inspecting the tampon from side to side and shaking the wrapping next to her ear trying to figure out the answer herself.  
She quickly turned back to her make-up application and did as thou putting up her mascara required quiet dedication... Can’t answer yet!
Can you blame her? No matter what, she needed to win in some extra time to think...
Her brain was cracking like a bat out of hell and the situation made her feel pretty much uneasy. “Uhmmm...those are stuff adult women use in the bathroom sometimes my dear”, she managed to say “You’ll figure them out when you get older.” And by saying so she dared hope she’d be saved somehow from her niece’s persistent interrogation.
“Oh...but what do adult women use them for?”, asked her niece while bringing the bright colored peace nuisance to her nose and smelling the wrapping. “Missy you shouldn’t smell the unknown, you know? What if it’s poisonous?” she exclaimed uncomfortably. “Well, grown up women use these to uhm...they...eeer...I mean for aaahh...for some specific needs they have as adults.” And she unnoticeably rolls her eyes at the futility of her own explanation. “Oh I know...” her niece’s face brightened up, “They stick it on the wall to hang their towels!!!”
She couldn’t contain herself from blurting out a laughter at the cutesy and innocence of a child’s mind. But shortly after this reaction she had to regain her posture, as she noticed that her niece was seriously inquiring an explanation for having such interestingly colored attribute in the bathroom. ('Cause those who know this brand, might be aware that there are MORE bright colored tampons in the black box where this one came from. In this case yellow, green and blue attention catching ones.)
So she chose her next words as carefully as she could...
“Naaah honey,” she then difficulty uttered with a kind but nervous smile on her face “It’s not used to hang towels. I would explain the usage of it to you, but there are things you are just still too little to understand. Why don’t we make a deal? When you turn twelve, and you probably attained the uhm needed "knowledge", I myself will explain the usage of these to you. Then you’ll understand better and you'd be able to decide whether you want to use these in your bathroom too. Pinky promise...”
Lil' miss detective was satisfied with the answer...to her biggest relief. She took the bright pink tampon from her niece's hands and, as she did the last touch-ups to her make-up, she continued... “So... how was school today?”

1 She; Lorerei

Thursday, October 27, 2011

She noticed him a while ago. He was constantly eyeballing her and on occasions he would shamelessly let his eyes slid down to her cleavage.
But every time she looked up from her scribbles, he would nervously look away.
Thou he tried to be as cautious as he could, she could almost smell the depth and intensity of his attention. And it ignited her drive to be lascivious. Thus without skipping a line from the pointless drawing she made, her whole air lightened up as wrong thoughts tiptoed through her already corrupted mind. And the flirty switch was turned on…

Already enjoying his seemingly lack of self-control she recklessly smiled as she doodled away. “So you like what you see, huh?” she thought, raising up one eyebrow and playfully leaning back in her chair and meaningfully pushing her breasts up.
 She paid indirect attention to his reaction and saw from the corner of her eye how he uncomfortably tried his best not to rest his gaze on her for too long. And she was satisfied.  “Fool,” she thought in a sarcastically tinted fake tone of concern, “you’re another woman’s private property….why you still want to play with fire?”
As the meeting proceeded, so did the silent squander. What could have seemed so sweet and innocent from the outside, was really another heartless pastime she didn’t really care about. But there she sat, with such angelical smile on her face… killing time. Who could accuse her of womanizing on prohibited grounds? Who could tell her off for being immoral?
He could, of course, since right after her next disguised coquette he nervously started shaking his leg, licking his lips and breathing faster.
She refused to let his behavioral change go unnoticed and raised her eyes to meet his. And it was obvious how he forced himself to keep focused. She locked gazes with him for 5 seconds, smiled sheepishly and looked away mimicking a fictitious blush. And he just sat there starring …with a completely red face.
The game kept on… And she triumphantly smiled as she saw all the effect her actions had on him. And simply knowing he now could do no more than this, gave her a feeling of satisfaction.
As soon as the meeting was over she stood up straight and strutted her stuff to the door paying no more attention to him. “Game over honey,” she thought demonstratively tilting her chin up, “You now go back to being the unimportant acquaintance you were meant to be.”
But it seems as thou he had something else in mind. He stood there and obtrusively scanned her from top to bottom as he bit on his lower lip.
Little did she know that much more was welled in him, than that which was allowed…
Later that week he messaged her: “I’m sorry if I might be too bold. But I can’t take it any longer,” the message read “I wish I could get just one chance to taste every cell on your body. I can promise, you won’t regret it. If only my desire could be made a reality…just once.”
She mentally answered his request; “Come back to planet earth already, moron. You were just an object to kill boring time…not even in a nightmare would I find even the most insignificant cell of you attractive”
At the slightest further thought of him, she almost puked.

0 She; lost in odyssey

Thursday, October 20, 2011
There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.” ~Douglas H. Everett~
Gazing out of the airplane window and fixing her eyes on the place where the big blue sea and the cloudy sky becomes one, she let her mind wander. And in that moment where neither responsibilities nor duties could interrupt, she sank away in daydreams.
She daydreamed of the unspoken and of the truths that lie in the desires that lingered in the deepest, darkest corners of the heart. She dreamed of what the human eye can’t perceive and that which, not even the mind of the person sitting so close to her on this airplane, could fathom.
There, on the plane back home, she let her imagination, her heart and all the wildest, prohibited and unpronounced feelings merge into one. Mix into a concoction which painted colorful imageries and produced a movie....tantalizing into an unspoken ecstasy.
Separate from all the overwhelming, some of these dreams perturbed her somewhere in her deepest ...  How do they do it?  How could dreams sometimes seem so perfect and yet so impossible at the same time?
It would be the norm to simply encourage herself to pursue her dreams; to fight and steadily push and persevere until she reaches that which made her heart go wild.
But what if all this dreaming was nothing but a mirage?
She rests her chin on the palm of her hand and still gazing out of the window, with teary eyes, she sighs.
Perhaps it’s sane to simply leave these dreams be whatever they now were...nothing but an illusion.
As the plane touched firm land she mentally forced herself to do the same. And as soon as she stood up from this chair that has just offered her more than simply a physical voyage, she plastered a smile on her face. And with that plastered smile she meant to unplug the connection between her expressions and the cataclysm inside. ‘Cause no matter how hard she was trying, the effect of the dreams and the questions they brought up, still weren’t ready to dissipate.

2 She; whoever made you a god? Whoever gives you the right?

Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Furiously she started typing. And as she blurted out her thoughts in the chatbox, it felt as thou her fingers came to life.
Neither was she in the mood for such lowly comments nor did she have the time. "Aaaaaaarrrgggh! You're going to hear me now, oh yes you are"
She knew not why, but this morning she woke up with quite a few unpleasant thoughts and the weirdest feelings. Yet in spite of it all, she's been trying to keep up a chat with this acquaintance who, most of the time made no sense whatsoever.
Most conversations with him could be cut off quickly, with a practical and polite smiley. And at other times, out of a low level of patience, she simply chooses not to even salute.
Why she didn't opt for the latter today, is still a mystery. Maybe what followed was written somewhere in the stories of their lives, meant to pass.
"I mean, I try to see the colors in life and be happy. But I don't want anyone to think that I'm holding the gay flag", was his reply when she asked him to explain something he previously said.
She could not believe what she was reading. She raised an eyebrow, took one deep breath and calmly said to herself "stay polite woman, stay polite!"
As cold as she could, she wrote him back "What's up with that? You have an issue with gay people?"
"Nope, but I just don't like them"
Never did she dare think that so much disgust and anger could activate in her, all at once. And her thoughts were running too fast for her fingers to keep pace. So without over-thinking for another split second and without weighing her words no more, she spit out her thought like a dragon spitting out fiery fireballs....
" Hm, so does being gay make you less human? Less worthy of affection and attention? Less... in any sense of the word? Or are they in some way more of a sinner than you and I?" And while she pressed the send button she was thankful that he wasn't personally standing in front of her.
"I just don't like what they do, ok? I'm just not pro-gay...", he answered quickly as thou he lost his temper at her persistence about the topic.
She sat straight in her chair as she thought out loud "and you're god...you can judge someone so harshly" and she rolls her eyes.
"Listen up," she answers angrily "and I want you to understand me VERY well. I'm not gay...but you see... I do OTHER things that people might probably dislike. And I'm very sure, you do too! Now, wouldn't you love it if people just treated you as the wonderful human being you can be and not as a cheap imposed labeling? For, if we're going to make a list of people that only do things that others liked, none of us would even really qualify to stand on that list now, do we?"
She stopped for a moment and saw him writing back. But at this point she wasn't interested to stop and listen any longer, so without even waiting for his reply she furiously continued...
"I'm sick of seeing people refer to and or treat gay people as thou they were some kind of a disease or as thou their sexual life makes them inferior or some kind of a cast away," she wrote, "since when does sexuality make one human being more or less than the other? Gay people can be so amazingly fun, loving and caring... But we don't like them; not because they have wronged us personally in some way or another, but because of their sexuality. How disgustingly unfair! Sexuality does not define a person. Instead, their personality does. Their character does. Their dedication, their love, their honesty....who they are and what they do....THAT'S what makes a person. And I can proudly call someone like that A FRIEND, regardless of their race, believe, economical status OR their sexuality. Maybe I don't approve of what they do. But, I don't think i need to approve of all your actions for you to 'qualify' to be my friend...or for I to even treat you. Cuz maybe they were exactly the people who were there for me when the 'generally acceptable' friend turned their back away for the stupidest reason. Maybe they were the ones to keep up with me through laughter and isolation when the seemingly righteous 'friend' was too high and holy as to understand. Maybe...it was a gay person who spoke strength and courage when the 'friend' who preaches Love looked down on me because of a wrong choice I've made. And you tell me I should dislike such a person because he's sexually different? "
Silence broke. And she decided to step back a little and let him digest.
"Oh my God, you're so right..." was all he could answer.
And with the canyons of argumentations still rambling in her head and with her hands trembling with the urgency to keep smearing him in the face what she though of his lowly reaction, she looks at the screen of her phone. "Got news for you, no one made you a god!" She mumbles and makes an attempt as to start the next sentence.
Finally after a short while she heavily breaths out, closes her eyes and puts her phone aside. "Enough for now," she says to herself " as for NOW its been enough!!"

Sent from my BlackBerry® device from Digicel