0 The art of....sleeping!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Anyone who knows me personally is aware of how much I love my 2 nieces and 3 nephews. I mean, what's there not to love about these schnuklepums of mine?
Each one with their very own unique character and traits, and each one so beautifully made... It's love at first sight.

Two of them just LOVE to sleep over at my place any time I can. There are weekends when I'll have to give them a full report of where I'll be going and whether I'll be late...in order for them to calculate if they can come over or not.
And it's very cool to have them over. Until it's time to sleep...then, my love, you'd come to realize how sleeping becomes a total work of art.
My niece ( 9) and my nephew (3) slept over the other night. And nope, I haven't had another sleepless night (technically speaking). They share my bed when they come sleep over...and THAT'S the artistic part of it all.

First, there's the preparations. They want to play, they want to drink, they need to pee, they feel like singing and making music, they want to talk and tell, they want to watch tv, they want to play silly games ( and I need to participate)...and so on.
The last time they slept over, the preparation part went pretty easy. Some music, a silly tickling monster game and as a movie played on my laptop, they both fell asleep around 21:00.
Ant then...ART ACTIVATED!!!

  • My niece slept on my nephews' arm and when I finally got up and rolled her over, my nephew climbed right on her back.
  • Again I sat straight to get him off her back.
  • In just a while he crawls to the end of the bed and places his head on her feet.
  • Sat up again and pulled him up, putting his head to rest on the pillow between me and my niece.
  • But then it was my niece's turn to turn around and sleep with her legs on the wall and her head on my nephews stomach.
  • Got up to put her as she should be...
  •  But not long thereafter my nephew decides to sleep horizontally between us. Leaving me sleeping half off the bed and my niece all the way against the wall.

Somehow...somewhere in the middle of the night I managed to fall asleep. Only to wake up to the small hand of my nephew at 7 am, patting me on my face...claiming that it's time to wake up, 'cause it's no longer dark outside.
With my eyes still shut I answered : "No honey, come...sleep a while longer." But there was no way convincing him...he was sure...it was time to wake up. And after fighting the circumstances for about 10 more minutes I sat up straight in bed yawning like a hungry lion. Still very sleepy and majorly exhausted from the whole 'wrestling match'I endured the night before.
As thou it wasn't enough, he randomly jumped back on the bed and straigth on his sisters' back to wake her up. This boy is a tornado...full of energy!

My niece took it differently thou...
She furiously got up and jumped out of the bed; and with a whiny", high pitched voice she stormed out  of the bedroomsaying "...and I didn't EVEN get the chance to sleep!!!

How ironic!

2 That's rather...inappropriate

Friday, October 19, 2012
Everybody has inappropriate stuff right?


Of course I mean that kind of stuff that is not exactly prohibited but yeah, you prefer not to broadcast their existence.

FINE!!! I’m the only one who has them. Now sit down and let me do my whole talk-of-shame.
Well I have this…this…inappropriate THING. And up until now it’s been perfectly fine to have it. No worries!!! It does its job excellently and I never had to explain its existence…ever!
My days have been pretty long lately. So much to do, so little time. One of the consequences of this schedule is that when I reach home at the end of the day…my physical battery is drained and my internal system is hibernating. EXACTLY what came over me the other day!!!
I’m also house-sitting these days, so I almost only go home to pick up clothes and do the basics. And in my trip home the other night I’ve left the inappropriate object…well…I’ve left it in QUITE an inappropriate place!
And it wasn’t until the next morning when I reached home to pick up some stuff before leaving for work…..that. I. noticed. OMG!!!! I’m deliciously caramelized by nature (speaking of my skin tone of course), but I think I went death pale. This could simply NOT be happening to me…
In a quick maneuver to try and avoid any possible interrogations and mentally remediate the mistake I picked it up and put it in the pocket of the working pants I was wearing. With the intention to put it away as soon as I walk by the… (Cough cough) place I normally keep it. (Read: hide it). It’s been just one night...Just a couple of hours…maybe no one saw it, so I should be fine. Finish this, put it away and close the chapter...
At work later that morning, as I was thinking about what to get for lunch, I reached in my pocket and O to the MG… I never remembered to put the object away. Now I have it in my pocket…AT WORK!
I’m not going to lie to you thou, as uncomfortable as the thought was, I inwardly laughed my butt off. Silly inappropriate object…slept in a visible place and now traveled to work with me…just how COOL is that! What’s next??
In that one second with my hand in my pocket feeling up something that should definitely not be there at THAT moment, I felt like when something randomly bleeps on your body when going through the metal detector machine. But I had no choice; I had to carry my ‘metal’ with me the whole day. The WHOLE day… But every single time I reached down my pocket, it made me secretly smile.

That night I reached home around 21:30pm… Inappropriate thingy went straight to the place where I had to put it since the morning. But undoubtedly, every time I reach for it now…I remember…I remember…

0 Feather-weight...kind of...

Saturday, October 6, 2012
I have some amazing colleague-friends!!! Truly...wouldn't trade them for no other...
Why colleague-friends?? Well they're both colleagues and friends of mine...the kind of woman you can vent, cry, smile, laugh, joke and discuss with. But also the kind of women you can go out with in your free time and have one heck of a good time.
Right after my birthday we went for a Sushi night (Thou only two of us really eat sushi hihihi). And while enjoying the night...the waiter brought me this wonderful gift with my drink... in the name of my colleague-friends. My reaction? Mega silly!!! But THIS gift right here, was heaven-sent...

(the card with the 2 beautiful balloons...)

Would you tell..
Fifty minutes of deep-tissue massage at the Hotel Kura Hulanda to a woman that had several nerves and sinews tied in pretty complicated knots!!

These ladies know me well, the gift came right in time. (sigh) Really, could there be a better gift?
Just the thought of it sent a glorious feeling all through my body... Fifty minutes straight of pure relaxation and getting pampered! AAAAHH!!!

That very night when driving home, I looked around to see if I didn't have an audience from any of the cars that rode beside me and screamed several times in my car...purely out of excitement!! (clears throat) I'd appreciate if you don't tell them that... hahahaha! (Just kidding...they read my blogs)

But...well..today was THE day...
I had my appointment this morning at nine! Could hardly wait...

Right after arriving, the lady led me to a dark and cozy room with a soft, relaxing aroma and lit only by small candles. Whispered the instructions kindly, to undress and lie down on the bed and start relaxing...she's be right back!
As soon as she came back and started massaging, my senses danced of pleasure..releasing all the built-up tension. And I felt right how the knots were all letting go...  At some places the masseuse simply pressed harder, but I couldn't even move a finger in protest. It was such a pleasurable pain...breaking down the walls of stress.
I lied there with a silly gigawatt smile on my face drifting away; simply indulging in every minute of such a fascinating moment  So, from my neck right down to every single toe I thoroughly enjoyed of a mind-blowing massage this morning.

But the inevitable moment... right in the middle of my enjoyment...in the blinking of an eye...time ran out. "Nooooooo!!!", I wanted to scream in protest, "you just CAN'T be done yet! I want moooreee..Go on please, go one."
But I just lied there....and smiled as the lady bent down and whispered quick instructions as to how to get up when I was ready to leave so I won't feel dizzy and to drink plenty of water during the day so to get rid of the toxins that where released during the massage, otherwise I might have gotten a headache at the end of the day.
When I got out of the room it was already 10:30am and I fell totally alive, light, new....relieved! A good massage can be oh-so magical.

Even when I left the Spa and drove away to my next stop I felt so relaxed it was scary...hahaha...really! Even thought I had to pay extra attention in traffic, cause my body felt so well I think I might have drifted away...

The lady taught me of some tricks to see if I can persuade more people into giving me monthly massage coupons or so...I might consider to put them to the test and see if they work hahaha

To my colleague-friend... (Shuki, Claudje, SONbody and Johanna)
Ladies you are THE best! Once more..THANK YOU...for this well-chosen gift. I appreciate you guys so much...

And to you...tense reader...go get yourself massaged for a change...NOW!!
You'll thank me for the tip...really...GO!

Relaxed and happy,


0 She; the chains of the unspoken

Wednesday, September 19, 2012
They were two introverts, one more than the other. And they used to write each other letters every so often. Especially if it involved something deeply emotional, that kind of an emotional knot that was too difficult to put into spoken words.

It simply would not matter if they were going to spend the whole day together; if there was something deep to discuss, they'd exchange letters at the beginning of the day and promised solemnly to not read the letters until they were both home at the end of the day...apart. Each in their own comfort place. And it all went fine. It even gives you space to over-think your reaction...so what could possibly be wrong with such an agreement? She still has all the letters she received, as a silent proof of all they shared besides the moments spend together. And she cherishes those letters deeply...

This time she was the one who had something important to say. And instead of writing a whole letter, she bought a greeting card at the book store. In the end, the card said exactly what she had on the tip of her tongue; especially those two most important words.
She sat down with colored pens and mixed feelings that night...to personally add some other details she thought were important to mention. But alas, she could not.
And several nights thereafter, she returned to the card and colored pens; exactly where she left them the night before... only to get up after a while (just like the first time) without having written anything.

She even had it planned, how she'd send the greeting card by mail. And struggled with the thought of whether that was too impersonal or not. Should she send an e-mail instead? No, the very thought gave her the chills... Wait until the person in question was online and straightforwardly say what she had to say by chat? Uhm...not a good idea.
But wait...how could she be thinking about ways to send a card she didn't even have the courage to write? (sigh) "I'd figure it out in due time," she said out loud "first things first..write!"

Yes, they spoke, they spoke regularly as a matter of fact. But she tried to act as if nothing was wrong. Messages, phone calls, chats... She did her best to keep her posture through every interaction in spite of the tornado that went on within. It's not that she wasn't genuine, that you may not get the wrong picture of her, she was simply holding back that part which was somehow important for her to say. She was only waiting until she could write it down...like old times. Cuz that was the plan, right?

Until suddenly... on a day that started like any other...
Don't ask what happened, maybe it was just the results of a full bucket...or maybe she just felt gutsy...but in one of those conversations she simply blurted it all out. Everything...to the very last shameful word. She searched not for the correct words, she didn't pay attention to the reaction from the other person, she spoke her filthy soul out. And it was only when she was finally done speaking, and she realized there was a long and awkward silence from the other side, that what just happened finally sunk in. Like a heavy rock..deep in her stomach. And thou she said nothing else and she tried with her all to keep a relaxed posture, she felt completely paralyzed. And she froze...

"Ohhhh SHIT!!! You must be kidding me right? You didn't just do that, woman! You didn't just say all that!...Oh WHAT-A-SHAME!! WHAT-A-SHAME!! WHAT A SHAAAMMEE".
The voices in her head went insane. Her feet felt as cold as ice, in spite of the very hot weather. She felt sick to her stomach..it was as thou she swallowed a rock and couldn't seem to throw it up. And she had to blink several times to hold back the tears of regret. "Hold your head up high young lady. That was, as a matter of fact, a very brave thing to do." she told herself finally "You needed to get it out, and you did. Whatever the other person does with this information now is not up to you. Do yourself a favor, and hold yourself together."

So she just sat there, struggling between obedience to that encouraging voice or getting up and run away...
She even had difficulty swallowing...but she bravely sat there. If there was going to be an answer or not? She knew not...Thou she hoped there would, deep down she hoped. Positive or negative, all she hoped was to get more than just this killing silence. But as uncertain as she was she sat there...
Until after what seemed like an eternity, the answer finally came... And it was like a glass of cold water on a very hot day...short indeed, but also deep...and meaningful. Words that felt like a warm hug, in spite of the distance.

And she smiled so wide her face hurt!!! Not only physically did she smile...but her heart also smiled...as a matter of fact it danced; her heart really danced. It was one of those moments she'd scream for joy. One of those moments she's do an uncontrollable silly dance.
But instead she decided to just enjoy silently of the mixture of beautiful feelings that welled up like a beautiful aroma. Joy, relieve, contentment, satisfaction, pride, love and freedom....yes, most importantly the freedom.
If it wasn't for this moment, she'd never realized how she had been a slave all this time...a slave to her own unspoken words.


0 Succumb to the awkward gaze-lock...

Monday, August 27, 2012
Last Saturday there was yet a new post from one of my favorite Youtube Channels; Community channel.
This chick is simply funny, real and altogether very cool.

This is the video that was posted...

So true.

Now, in addition to what Natalie states in this video and all I already wrote in one of my previous posts (Tinted Windows), it happened yesterday that I discovered yet another awkward thing concearning the eye...
Behold..."The awkward eye-lock"
In church yesterday they made us turn to the person beside us, look him/her in the eye and repeat a certain phrase. Pfff, yeah...that's pretty common in churches...I personally hate that act as a matter of fact. No, I'm not the" look-the-stranger-in-the-eye-and-tell-him-you-love-him" kinda girl. But some people in church believe it to be effective thou (sigh). Yet, since there was no one else sitting beside me on either side, I thought to myself, "Phew, I'm saved babeh!!". And I smiled in relieve...
Did my victory dance too soon. I didnt realise that the guy sitting in front of me was in the exact same situation...until he turned around, looked me in the eye and started executing the assignment without even giving me enough time to react.
One thing I thought immediately, "Wait...What? ...Shit!!!...Really?!?!....Whyyyyy?????"

I tell you, it was plain awkward.
The longest conversation that ever happened between me and the guy was "Hi, how are you?". Now, there I stood, looking him in the eye. No kidding me...
As an only escape to the uneasy feeling and the minutes that suddenly seemed to slow down, I decided to make his whole "declamation time" a bit uncomfy as well. I mean, why not?

Like, ever noticed there's a difference between just simply looking eachother in the eye and really locking eye sights with the person to the point that you can almost pierce their souls?
Well, I did the latter...
As he was quoting the phrase, I looked him in the eye...like really...IN the eye. And no matter how strong the urge I had to look away, I didn't. "Focus Sy...Focus"
And yes, it didn't take long before he started shifting uncomfortably on his feet.
The effort it took him to maintain his posture, was visible all over. His eyes were moving back and forth in his head like darts. And the phrase that started loudly and full of conviction slowly diminished to a low, stuttering out of, what seemed as, a dry (parched) mouth.
In the contrary, I now found it amusing...and I believe I even smiled widely and nodded. Don't worry, he might have mistaken the whole facial expression as an encouragement.  But the more signs I received of an awkward reaction, the more it encouraged me to keep the eyes locked...firmly in place.

As soon as he finished, he quickly turned around and didn't look back again for the rest of the service. Would you tell... yesterday I didn't even get the regular "Hi, how are you".  Lol, how funny...

Some of you might find it wicked, but what was I supposed to do?
If I haven't thought of an escape so quickly, I would have been the one to succumb under the pressure of the piercing gaze-lock. And I don't like that... oh hell no I don't.

4 Royal Announcement...(wink-wink)

Tuesday, August 14, 2012
I’m EX-CI-TED!!!!
You know how normally the beginning of the week is drag-ass. And for me it’s the first full work-week after vacay, so it’s taking me a while to get back into my normal working routine.
But then this morning I received some amaziiiiiinnng news!!!
My Bhajan love (a very very dear friend of mine in Barbados) contacted me this morning to announce the arrival of a new jewel to this world. Yes people, I’ve got a new princess. (aaaaaaaahhh!!!)
Welcome to this world, Aleema Malika Davis
Born on August 13th 2012 at 6 and weighing 3350 grams (Daddy was so excited he couldn’t remember the length).

(sigh) I'm in love...she's beautiful...

Well my boy was excited... and a bit sad.
Yes sad, ‘cause he said (and I really quote...sorry KD)... “I was suppose to be there to see her enter this world...but I missed out on it. ...when I went in all anxious to see the whole “pushin session”, there is the madam suckin away on she momma. N tears came to my eyes” (Yeah I think that was so beautiful, those words coming from a proud new papa!!)
With all the kicking and pushing the little pretty pants had been doing lately...she couldn't wait on daddy so to make her own entrance...
But as I told him, now it’s to make sure he doesn’t miss out on the other firsts...
The first steps, first teeth, first words, first school day...maybe her first pageant, her first medals, her first trophies ...hahaha I’m truly excited and happy!! Wish I was there with them...
I just know that Aleema is gonna grow to be one heck of a beautiful and smart girlie. Love her already...
May her every breath be blessed and may she grow up to be all that she is made to be.
Welcome babygirl!!

2 Twenty Eight gems at the 100th step...

Monday, July 30, 2012
Yesterday was my 28th Birthday (on the 28th of July) and THIS is my 100th post...
Again one double slamming reason for celebration.

I really had an amazing time yesterday. It was really more than I could dare ask for. Sublime. Really an unforgettable birthday!

For my 100th post I actually wanted to do something different, but really...nothing came to mind.
While showering last night (yes, I tend to get my ideas at the most non convenient moments) I came to the idea of simply posting 28 of the most important things I've learned up until now...

So here goes:

  1. I've learned that YOU need to fight for what you want in life. If you don't do it, nobody's going to do it for you. Nothing's going to just fall in your bosom, you want it? Go get it!;
  2. I've learned that most mistakes CAN be corrected. The mark of the white-out will still be visible, scars will still be there, maybe even a stain as a constant reminder...but the actual mistake won't be no more.;
  3. I've learned that you really never stop missing some people...or at least not for a long long LONG time;
  4. I've learned that whatever we've lost in the course of life, it shouldn't be hope. Even when strength is gone and the courage to persevere is nowhere to be found;
  5. I've learned that we sometimes need to take a risk and do the unexpected in order to discover parts of ourselves we might have never before explored;
  6. I've learned that it is way more important to be your own friend, before trying to befriend anyone else. If you want others to accept you just as you are, start by accepting yourself;
  7. I've learned that change is inevitable, but it is your choice how YOU deal with the changes that take place in your life;
  8. I've learned that people should sometimes stop hiding behind shimmer and shine and just do what they feel in their hearts to be right, in the end you can never please everybody. And there is no need to do so. No matter how hard you try, someone's always going to disagree;
  9. I've learned to stop and cherish each moment. The 29th of July of the year 2012? It will NEVER happen again...and I'm only 28 once in my whole lifetime. Each single minute is valuable;
  10. I've learned that my family is one of the most important bolts in my life; these people help holding my whole existence together;
  11. I've learned that the mind's not always right. Sometimes the mind's too rational, sometimes we should simply follow our hearts;
  12. I've learned that  to trust is an art. Trust's not freely given, we earn trust! And by the way, I believe if real trust is earned it shouldn't be that easy to lose.
  13. I've learned that people need to have solo time every now and than. Hit the cinema on your own? or cozy out in a restaurant with some yummy food and a magazine? Totally re-energized!!
  14. I've learned that love's really a big word, used indeed too often and wayyyy too easily;
  15. I've learned that music is really very similar to a drug. A beautiful melody? Lyrics that speak? A simple good song? Who can really have enough?;
  16. I've learned that a whole world might lie behind one unspoken word. Undiscovered poets, uncaught thieves, unsung heroes, simple nobles, heartless villains, or sometimes a simple unquenchable lover. My advice? speak up if you must;
  17. I've learned that real, meaningful, heartfelt relationships don't come with price tags. Otherwise they would have been too pricey, wouldn't they?;
  18. I've learned that setting great goals mean nothing if you don't intend to move beyond your own boundaries to achieve these goals. Great goals require great guts.
  19. I've learned that we sometimes need to be more willing to help someone out without expecting anything in return;
  20. I've learned that no fancy words are needed  to genuine and sincere;
  21. I've learned that it is more important to have a bouquet adorning my table today than a wreath at my grave;
  22. I've learned that a relationship with God isn't quite necessarily the soap play that people has made it to be nowadays;
  23. I've learned that creativity makes life overall more beautiful and enjoyable;
  24. I've learned that we sometimes need to stop expecting people to give meaning to our definitions. We all have our own definition for beauty, intelligence, stupidity and other behavioral matters. Expecting people to fit in our definitions frustrates us, the relationship and cripples the person somehow;
  25. I've learned that big wars really originate from small meaningless arguments sometimes;
  26. Likewise I've learned that little things can brighten up our whole day. Think of the smile of a little child, a little unexpected note, a hug from a dear one, a simple thank you, an encouragement from someone who matters...;
  27. I've learned that  it takes a mature, responsible and secure person to admit a fault. Small people always try to find something or someone else to blame;
  28. I've learned that when spoken words don't suffice, writing can be a marvelous aid. ( haha ;), sure...ask me about it)

So this was parts of it all...Hope you found something that inspired you. If so, write it down and hang it somewhere you may see it frequently...
And by the way...congrats to you too...for having been through 100 mile stones in the chronicles of a woman named Sy.

I appreciate you mucho! 


0 Hottie or Hooker?

Friday, July 27, 2012
We all know it! The color red on a woman usually symbolizes sexiness, confidence, energy or...you name it...

A woman wrote on her blog "hmm I'm feeling confident and I want to be noticed today; a red dress it's gonna be!" And her blog says that the color suggests a more outgoing person and that the person who wears red is trying to draw more attention to themselves.

All of which is basically true. It has been proven scientifically that the color red increases our enthusiasm, stimulates energy and can increase the blood pressure, respiration, heartbeat and pulse, encourages action and confidence, provides a sense of protection from fears and anxieties. So, theoretically...the above IS true. But than again, the following discovery basically also is...

A well known blog published recently an article about a psychologic study that has been conducted at the University of South Brittany in France on 120 men; researching their reaction on women wearing different colors of clothing (blue, white. red and green to name a few).
They were asked to rate the attractiveness of these women on a scale of 1 to 9 and also were they asked to rate how likely they thought the probability was that the woman would sleep with them on the first date (based only on the womans appearance).

And as you can already imagine, red rated higher as the most attractive color on women (followed by white, blue and green) and also the women wearing red rated higher as being those most likely to go to bed with a man on the first date (followed by blue, green and lastly white).

Well, if indeed red has an effect on the respiration, heartbeat, pulse and blood pressure...these results might as well be true in some way.... or not?

The psychologists then concluded that a men would most likely ask intimate questions of the woman wearing red on a date and also sit closer to her. And also a female hitch hiker wearing a red blouse would most likely get a ride from a man than from a fellow female.

So these French Psychologists state that their studies show clearly that the color red is connected to lust, romantic love and the female fertility between a man and a woman

Interestingly enough I came across a similar research that was conducted in 2008 in two universities of Rochester. In this case the men were shown the very same woman wearing different colored blouses and/or with a different frame color for the picture.
They were asked several questions among which the attractiveness of the woman and how much money they  would be willing to spend on the person if going to a date with her with $100 in their pockets.

Again...the same results... When the woman wore red (or when even just her photo was framed in red), the men found her to be prettier, sexually more desirable and were willing to treat her to a more expensive outing.

In both studies they linked this reaction with the men's primal instinct; saying it to the be the same reaction as baboons, macaques and chimpanzees have towards the females of their specie. They say that the female's perineum of these animals actually reddens conspicuously when nearing ovulation so to send a clear sexual signal to the males of their specie. So, they said, this reaction in human males might be connected to their "wild" side.
But they also say it might be cultural. Red roses, hearts, lingerie, Valentine's Day... all linked to romanticism.

It is also important to mention that one of these studies explains that this red effect extends only to (heterosexual) males (homosexuals and men with red-green color blindness were not used in the research). And also, that men are really unaware of the role of color play in their attraction.
Red did not increase the attractiveness level from females rating other females. And the high rating of a men to a woman wearing red had nothing to do with the woman's intelligence, likability, competitiveness, personality or kindness;  it's plain sexual.

So both studies state that the attractiveness factor of the color red on a female to a male is actually nothing more than the sexual edge the color adds to the woman. And there are plenty of other researches that send out the same information about women wearing the color red. It does, whether subtly or out loud, send out some type of "take me to bed easily" card beside signaling just the hotness & attractiveness in a woman.
Now does this information change the way we (women) will use the color in the future? (To our advantage maybe?)

I say do the test for yourself! Wear the color and rate the reactions you get...
And if you have any (not all too personal) experience with the effect of this, please let us know!

1 Subliminal messages

Saturday, July 7, 2012
"Ever felt as though you're having a "subliminal" conversation?"

You know, one of those conversations in which you know you both have so much to say...yet neither of you really says any of it?
Haha..I'm having one of those conversations right THIS instant, and it's actually quite disturbing and interesting at the same time.

A lot is said...
You even joke and laugh at silly things said and done during your superficial conversation and at some point you might even switch to talk about some OTHER (more) serious matters. But whatever really needs to be said is kept unsaid by both of you. Yet it boils...really..it boils on the inside! :D
But I don't know, maybe sometimes it's better that way... Maybe you just... feel the urge for some things to be said but maybe it's so that life can go on perfectly without them ever being said. Maybe it's just you, wanting to hear certain things...clear up whatever clog there is somewhere up there...say a couple of things yourself.

LOL...why would people have such conversations anyways?
I know what you're thinking..."why wouldn't you take the first step into uncovering the lid of the untold then?"
Pshhh...that's the thing with subliminal convos...you don't want to be the topic-starter...yet you want it to be said (somehow).

Haha..complicated much!!!

Anyways..blogging and chatting isn't really doing the conversation any good at all...
As you can imagine...I gotta go continue my weird chat.

AAAARRGGHHH!!! I wanna screammmm... hahahahahahaha

See ya again in a while, love bugs!


0 My "relationship" with... (And another special announcement))

Tuesday, June 26, 2012
I know some of you were drawn here only by the title of the post. HA! Well, I'm very pleased to announce that this very post is about nothing else but my "relationship" with salamanders.
It's important thou to mention that this is more of a hate relationship than it is about love.
(Sigh) I detest them!!! I find them utterly repugnant!!! And somehow these days they've been appearing CONSTANTLY in my bathroom...

Like this morning; just about to hit the showers I saw something move quickly under the bathroom sink. I held my breath and stepped in the shower curling my toes and feeling a cold breeze going down my spine as I lowered my head to see what it was. And yes, mr. salamander quickly ran up the wall and back down again in no time. I stretched my hand and closed the lid of the toilet...If anything, I'm stepping on it!! (As if the animal didn't just climb THE WALL...pshh)
My heart sank...and I almost started crying. If I only knew it was there I would have gone to the other bathroom instead... But now I'm stuck...half naked in the bathroom with a salamander.
I once again held my breath, balled my fists and tiptoed out of the bathroom as quick as I could.
Now what?!?!?! I need to shower to get to work...and I wasn't particularly on time...
So I decided the animal needed to be killed!! I grabbed some insecticide and went back to the bathroom with movements similar to those the police would make in an action movie when doing a raid.
Luckily enough it disappeared...so I had the chance to tiptoe back in the bathroom (looking around), take a shower and then tiptoe back out.
E-ve-rything was going well...until mid-makeup I saw something move again. This time the insecticide was right beside me, so I picked it up and emptied the can on the salamander. Surprised by the obstruction of oxygen I guess...it decided to run towards me. Now, I don't know if it was running to me for help or if he was just trying to attack me; to me it looked like the latter. So there I was, jumping like a mad puppet...covered in goosebumps...and again I felt like crying as the salamander ran straight towards my direction.
After delivering it some more puffs of what was left in the insecticide can (to "calm it down" and divert the direction in which he was heading), the salamander struggled its way to  a rug on my floor and crept underneath it. I wanted it to die right away!!! But seeing the amount of insecticide I wasted on it...it wouldn't have a chance to live anyways. So I tiptoed around finishing my make-up and picking up my things to go to work; all the while keeping an eye on the rug. Time came to leave. And I decided to leave the animal to die in "peace"...I'll take him out when I come back from work. In the end it at least deserved the time to say its last prayers.
Back from work I thought of ways to bribe my little brother into lifting the rug. But in the end, imagining how he'd laugh his butt off at my silliness I decided I'd have to finish the job myself. So I approached the rug with curled toes, breathing quicker than normal and shivering all over my body... I slowly lifted the rug with a broomstick...


Pushed the broomstick underneath it, lifted it up and shook the rug to see if the corpse will fall out (all the while havint all these unrealistic scenarios playing in my head; of the animal attacking me or something and so on)....but NADA... NULLITY ( In my head, chaos broke loose and I paralyzed.)
The salamanders has vanished!!! :( I looked around and I still can't see the slightest glimpse of it. Whyyyyyy?? Why? Why? Whyyyyyy?? Why meee??? (Sy makes a crying sound)
Dead or alive (probably dead)...I don't know where it is...and I'm freaking out!!!

But anyways....

On a complete other note... (the other important announcement of course)

My brother's personal website has finally been launched!!! (Sy does a very weird happy dance and grins widely)
And of course I want to share the joy with you.
You can visit his website anytime and admire his impressive artwork. (I know that sounded kind of boastful..but (ahem) I have reasons to boast here hehehehehe)

Share the amazing art with your friends and fam, contact him (my brother) if you have any questions and enjoy the truth behind every art piece which can all relate with...
(You can also like him on Facebook and follow him on twitter if you'd like to stay up to date)

This is his latest Piece of Art named ITSaGirl. Done live in the past weekend at RouteDuNord 2012
It gives me such a warm feeling inside...the deepness of this piece...aaaaaahhh


Hmmmm...ok...that was everything for now. (Actually there's more, but the post will become too long)
Lemme go chek again if I can find any trace of the salamander before it turns dark.
(Sigh) who would believe I have thissss much "love" for those animals...

0 The Colourful Addition...

Monday, June 25, 2012
Ever since I removed acrylic nails I got into a nail polish craze.

I now have around 80 different shades and I try to change the nail colors as often as possible.
This morning I got the crazy idea to start a blog with the nail designs I try out (and some other crazy ideas).

So here it is:


Enjoy, Subscribe & Share.



0 A letter to you...yes...YOU!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Hey hi
Dear you,
Sorry I can’t tell you this up straight; for the obvious stupid reasons which we both already know. But I write you to give you my warmest congratulations. You'd never know how much it delighted me to hear about your achievement. I can imagine you’re ecstatic. I still remember the feeling, I’ve been there too. It’s incredible...indescribable...really...I know.
I know too, that it might come to you as a surprise, this letter. And I don’t blame you. I haven’t exactly been expressing anything positive at all in my dealing with you. So if you’re shocked, it’s totally justified.
Sure, it is more important to show one’s feelings about certain things then it is to just say it. Words are futile if the actions contradict them. I know, but I’m sorry, I’m too proud to do so. Can we just pretend this writing suffices?
But I swear my heart skipped a beat of joy when I heard the good news. I could barely contain it, you should have seen me. I straightened up and smiled brightly...and I bet my eyes had a spark. I even asked twice to make sure what I heard was correct. But not to raise any questions I lowered my head to hide the contentment...my moist eyes and the big smile of relieve.
I never really doubted it was possible thou. I’m happy for you...really! Genuinely happy.
If you ever read this and get the feeling as if this post was meant for you, I hope there’s this something deep inside your heart that convinces you that it really is. I know I wasn’t all too specific here, but do I need to be?
No, I didn’t have a lot to say, but I chose to just write...shortly... to congratulate you on your happy moment. You know... a simple silly note to share the joy! 
Way to go...:) Keep them coming, fighter!
With love,   Sincerely,
Me! (From the tiny spot that’s still soft)

0 Difficult demeanor; look past the book cover

Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Someone told me recently "You know Sy, when you're good, you're amazing. But when you're bad..... girl you're catastrophic!"

I rolled my eyes... And as thou I didn’t already understand what he meant by that comment, I asked for an explanation.

And yes, it was exactly what I meant to understand. He explained that, even thou he doesn’t know me all that well yet, he senses that I’m that kind of a person you shouldn’t really play with. That I’m jolly, fun and kind as long as someone’s good to me; but if someone wronged me, they’d better run.
“People simply should not push your wrong buttons I guess”, he said.

I tilted my head, raised my eyebrow, crossed my arms and gave him a meaningful half smile. “Well, you’re always free to try and see for yourself if that’s true or not.... Willing to put your people skills to the test?”, I answered in yet a challenging tone.
Can’t recall the exact words he used, but I think I can conclude that he’s game.
"So this book has been judged by it's cover huh?", I smirked pointing to myself. He let out a loud laughter and answered,"Well, who knows, maybe your cover's transparent".

But then he paused for a couple of seconds and his expression took yet a serious tone again. At last he took deep breath and asked “Sy, are you indeed as difficult by character as you portrait to be?”

(Sy thinks)
Well..uhmmm...difficult? me? Ahhh... No, I don’t think I’m that difficult at all. Or am I?

The rest of the conversation is really none of your business.
I just thought it was quite interesting... that moment when someone who merely knew me at all thought they could see through my cover... Funny even!
For as far as I can remember, I’ve always been considerably introvert. And I still am. Not as much as I used to be, but I am. But some people mean to be able to read past that introvert label...beyond the cover of our books...and some of those readings (not all) might be dangerously right.

0 Twenty things to do before you turn 35 :)

Sunday, June 10, 2012
I'm exactly one month (and 18 days) away from my ...th birthday and even thou there's not going to be a party and stuff, the whole anticipation as another year is nearing is always a nice feeling.

Those who know me well also know that I'm kind of addicted to Cosmopolitan (the magazine). I like everything about it! I buy it every month, yeah, and usually I'm done reading it in two days maximum. Yet when we reach the middle of the month I'm already craving for the next issue (lol). So this time I decided to read it slowly... to NOT devour the pages so hastily. :)

And I came across the next list. "20 things you should do before you turn 35 (whether this birthday is several years off or only a candle or two away, our checklist will guarantee that you rack up a few key experiences now...and are fully prepped for an awesome future)---> Says the author!!!
(For those of you who already passed this magical number...turn it around...pick the stuff you should do before you reach 53 instead...lol :P)
I found some of theme hilarious, a couple sound veeeeerryyy interesting, others sound appealing, some I already did and some are not really reaching my to-do list...but still...I thought I'd share...

1. Give up a grudge.
    Letting go of the old frees you up for the new.
2. Decide on a Wednesday which country you'll be taking a bargain flight to on Friday.
    Last-minute travel gets harder, not easier, when the responsibilities pile on.
3. Ditch the "you know" or whatever little vocal habit you got into during high school.
    It's, like, not doing you any favors.
4. Create a photo album that's not exclusively on Facebook.
    It gives you tangible proof that you rocked the hell out in your youth.
5. Take your boyfriend to a cheap motel for sex
    After age 35, you wont be able to tolerate the low thread count.
6. Work full time? Ask your benefits manager about opening an IRA.
7. Still single? Sleep with a bad boy. 
    If it's good, do it a few more times.
8. Take yourself out to dinner.
    Sit at the bar, bring a book, and just chill without checking your phone every minute.
9. Host your first cocktail party.
    The kind with LBDs and wineglasses.
10.Agree to a blind date without asking a million questions about the guy.
     Just go.
11. Have a cause.
      Committing to a specific charity (1) makes you more interesting and (2) is more productive.
12. Buy a piece of jewelry that signifies all you've achieved so far.
      It will boost your confidene every time you see it.
13. Clean up your social circle by getting rid of the dead-weights.
      (you know who they are).
14. Expand your social circle by asking a friend you admire to fix you up with a friend she admires.
15. Learn to curse in at least one new language.
      Because "shut the eff up" sounds so much more sophisticated in French.
16. You know your favorite type of wine...
      Now figure out why it's your favorite, so you can describe the flavors, body and acidity you prefer to
      a sommelier and ask for recommendations.
17. Stop wearing clothes that aren't you.
      Start wearing clothes that are you, yet even sexier.
18. Ask for a raise when you've earned it.
      It is nerve-racking, heart-pounding, and essential to growing your carreer.
19. Buy the big vibrator, the smutty e-book, or anything else you used to be too shy to purchase.
      You're a woman with needs. Own it.
20. Choose a larger-than-life old-school-idol
     - Jackie O, Audrey Hepburn, Mick Jagger (it doesn't have to be a chick)- to be a fun, fearless model
      for your style and/or attitude.

So, saw anything interesting? Adjusting your to-do list anytime soon?
I sure saw some reasons to make a couple of tweaks in mine (wink-wink). Whether that happens before of after my 2012 b-day.

By the way..I'm not turning 35 this year :)

(All credits to the Cosmopolitan Magazine. This list has been featured in the June 2012 issue, written by Anna Davies p, 132)

1 She; heart gone wrong

Sunday, June 3, 2012
At some point she swore she'd never write about it. For, what if the writing settled down her crazy thoughts? What if she realizes something she has been deliberately and consciously avoiding? The what-ifs were many, and she thought banning the thoughts was the best idea.
But as the hours went by she suddenly knew, she needed to empty her mind. Quick! And what other way to do that than the way she's always trusted a million times before; in even worse situations...writing...like old times!
So she sat down, at a yet inappropriate moment, on a Sunday morning (just like today) with pen and paper and a stomach in knots. A lot was happening around her, but she wasn't even aware. I bet the walls could have collapsed around her, and she wouldn't have noticed.
She was going to write about it, pour it all on paper...but where exactly should she start?
"Ok...what now? What goes first?" she thought; partly annoyed at herself for not being able to come out of this spider's web. "Maybe I should write about the emotional attachment first. That impossible, deep-rooted emotional lock. Or must I try to detangle the apprehension of whether to keep on running this "race" or to pause and wait...just a while longer? Just to see if..." She shook her head,shifting do positions in her chair and played wildly with the pen in her hand. (sigh) "Than again, there were these new occurrences. New people, new thoughts, new feelings...new" (another deep sigh). THIS is the reason for all the confusion anyways. 'Cause, before them, she knew exactly what to do...right? She's sure, she had it all sorted out back then. So, should she write about them first?
She looked down on the empty sheet of paper on her lap and smiled sarcastically.  "What in holy heaps name is wrooooonng with youuu? Write...write everything, something....anything. But just frigging write now"
Her plea to the innerself was abruptly finished by a sudden thought, "write about the "clinger"... Write about his daily slime ball speech and the feelings that sprout out of those monologues he holds. Not to mention the thoughts; yes, all of the confusing thoughts."
She felt her heart tremble lightly and she had difficulty swallowing.
Why can't she sort out her thoughts? Why? Why can't her heart be at rest? Deep down she felt, as though she knew the answers but was way too coward to face them.
She shrugged and nodded lightly as she folded the blank sheets and decided to put them away.
"Fine!" she thought, "I'm not writing it!! I rest my case" She felt like crying, running away, fast forward, rewind, break loose, erase...too much to write about actually...how confusing.
She gaped in front of herself without really looking at anything specific.

"Fight on mind and heart, fight on", She murmured, " have your way. 'cause I can't choose. I just can't. Hope you find common ground some time soon. Otherwise I'll go mad... I'm sure I'll go crazy! "

0 Random Rambling...

Thursday, May 31, 2012
Someone recently told me they're going to sue me for Blog abandonment. I had no choice but to tell them to go ahead and do it if they believe it'll make them happier somehow. I wouldn't even bother to fight my case. I know...I'm guilty!!!
Come on...Face it, seeing the magnitude of my absence, if I was your mother I would have lost custody already by now!!! Lol

Well...as a matter of fact, in my absence there's been zillions of blogworthy material, yet little time to process it all. I have one post thou on draft (read: paper; cause that was the closest thing I found to empty my mind on) & I have this exciting  "mission" which just misses the last step before I tell you all about it (and no, I'm not pregnant nor am I getting married yet... Cause I've been asked). But you know now...there's stuff to stay pending for!

But now besides that all...Uhmmmm.....

Oh...Le weight...I still had to give you an update about the weight.
Well, I've done my best after the challenge. Doing my best as in, the fact that I'm not on a strict regime no more, but I watch what I eat.
Ever since I have lost 3 more kilos...which isn't much, but EVERYTHING is better than gaining! Lol

Found a very motivating (visual) way on Pinterest to keep track of my ultimate goal (yup, am partially addicted too)...

Take a look at it...(made with empty Picalilly bottles, nail polish, stickers and marbles )

Shows the amount I still have to go...and what's already gone... Love it!

Talking about pics...I've also gotten the pics of the before and after of the weight loss
 challenge by the way !!! And I've compared them to see the differences, OH BOY I loved them. But I felt too shy to publish somehow. Whahaha

Yes...ME...SHY. Come on it's weird...lol

Now...well...these two past weeks I haven't been to training, and my body needs needs neeeeeddddsss it. So I intend to pick it back up in no time. It keeps my condition level up, relieves stress and eventuality tones up here and there. So, gotta keep the booty moving. And that's ASAP...

So there...

Uhmmmm....well...I guess I'm closing this envelope now. Licking the stamp, adjust it in the right corner...and send this post your way. Stay pending, the draft I said I have on paper is coming really  soon...
So see you in a while lovebugs!

Be safe! Be good! Be happy always!


0 Game over!

Monday, April 30, 2012
Sat down and had a serious conversation with myself today.

The place where I had this conversation might have been questionable, but the content of the conversation was too serious to wait for a more suitable place to happen...

"Are you satisfied with your life?" I asked myself. And right when I realized it was taking me a couple of seconds too many to answer, I knew it...things had to be shaken up in this life of mine. ASAP!

I don't know if it's just me, but life can get pretty monotonous at some point. You know, same things, same places, same people...
Not all too many exciting things happen. Not enough challenges . No (or little) progress. And living becomes not more than a constant hum-drum...a cassette tape on repeat!

But I realize excitement isn't going to add itself... Either you move your behind or accept the bore...
And there's no way an active soul like mine can just "die" here...no way! So I decided it's time to move it. No matter how...
 Every second of dissatisfaction is a precious second waisted.
The idea might sound brilliant and all. But I must admit, I don't even have a master plan as yet... I just know things need to change. I can't cope with this dragging much longer... Can't...and honestly don't even want to.

I guess working on "change" without a direction is also worthless, so worry not, that's not going to happen. I'm much smarter than that.
 I actually do have some kind of a big picture in my head of where I want to head. But with that picture comes two things;
1. The picture isn't quite finished yet and
2. Frankly, I'm not quite the person to broadcast my plans so early (if at all). So you'll have to be informed of the step by step progress of this new...idea... You'll know!

I think it's an important step in life thou. Not just for me...but for just everyone that know in their hearts that there must be more to life.
Are you happy/satisfied with your life as it is now? If yes, than good for you. Keep doing whatever you've been doing up until now. If no, do whatever is in your power and might to change things around. Push your limits... Surprise yourself!

I'm at it...for I am not satisfied. Whoever/whatever wants to stay can stay (as long as you're not hindering my progress), whoever/whatever wants to leave is free to go (maybe the space you leave will be filled with something/someone better), whoever/whatever needs/wants to come back...well if it's needed and beneficial for this new picture i'd like to paint in my life...you're always welcome back. And whatever/ whomever new this new thrill brings along..good...let's make the best of it!
Either way, I don't intend to sit still and watch my life pass by just as if I'd get another chance to live this moment...

Game over!

0 WARNING: Toxic

Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Toxic people!
They come in different shapes and sizes. You probably know one or two. And they've probably worked on your nerves countless times, without you even realizing that they're nothing but just poisonous.

Toxicity is the degree to which a substance can damaga a living or non-living organism.
And surely there are people who act just like this...
If you don't handle them with caution they'd leave you drained, weary, emotionally numb, miserable, burdened, low on energy, stressed n' burned out, handicapped...as good as death (and I'm not necessarily talking about the physical).

One particular sort in this plague of toxins that caught my attention lately is the "cynical flush". I know, I know, I could  just call them negative. But believe me, they're not only negative, they really really flush out your vigor and positive spirit. I mean really...like mosquitoes...the SUCK out your "plus" side. And if you don't realize this in time, you'll end up behaving exactly like them.

They find something to criticize about just EVERYTHING. Today they pledge not to give a flying duck about person X, and tomorrow they shower you down with their venom again of their dislike and hatred towards this same person X...just because...
They end up complaining about their situation all the time (which to them of course, is the WORST in the whole wide universe and beyond). It doesn't really matter if there isn't anything new to complain about today, that very old situation that happened 2,000 years ago, you know that one time a wasp bit them, is still as important to them to bring it up once more and complain about it yet again.
Morning, noon, afternoon or nighttime...pfff...time doesn't really matter; everytime's a good time to COMPLAIN!!!
They're also masters of victimizing themselves...and they make it a great deal. Sure, they never did "anything" to deserve such fate. (snif-snif) And even though they didn't move a single finger to  change their own situation for the better, they think it's cruel...and, and...unfair and hard. And of course their victim position (which they give themselves) gives them every right to put their yoke on your shoulder.

...and they drain you!!! They drag you down with them, these toxic people.

Of course there...there are surely more toxic types!

Here's a small list, just to name a few... (I named them myself, yes)

* The ultra narcissistic ("me" centered!! From the rising of the sun, until...well, until it goes down and rises again. No mercy, this type's an egomaniac!
But really, what can be more interesting than "me"? And if it's not me, than it's "I"...no further discussions. This type ussualy results in a socially inept person; most relationships will clash.)

* The appendix( sticky on every side,  just like the Scotch Broth tape. Intesely clingy...Depends on you as though you were oxygen. And sincerely wants to be a legitimate part of you; you know, just like your limb, your backbone...your eye! This person often leads a sad, gloomy or depressed existance. And oftentimes they are skeptical and paranoid.)

* The unwanted parent( inadvertently decides to boss you around as though you were their child. If it's not because of the type of person YOU choose as YOUR significant other, it's for the tattoo you've gotten or simply it's your choice of clothes... Fact is, they feel they have the right to boss you around, demand an explanation, and invade your personal space. And clearly, their approval and/or disapproval should be taken to head, heart and...butt!)

* The whiner(oh well, the situation doesn't necessarily have to be ABOUT you or even CAUSED by you. Come on!!! You don't really have to be involved in it nor does it require some special knowledge or anything. You're simply...the person they approach to whine about it all.
Important note: do NOT, for the love of your sanity, offer any possible solutions. That's not what they come to you for in the end. Your solution will be brushed off the table with another whiny comment. And as soon as there's something new to whine about, you'll be the first to know...)

* The pro boxer(very similar to the whiner, but only more aggressive (not necessarily physical). Congratulations,YOU'RE their punching bag... Just..just...face it!)

* The remote control
(Needs to control your every step. If this person loses control they might freak out. They are also the type that becomes invasive, bossy, puts pressure and plays power games. They even walk in an autoritative manner and loves it when someone is dependant to them.)

* The saint(nothing really ever happened because of them. They're  totally incapable of harming one defenseless ant, how can one say they did THAT? The fault is always something or someone else's, never ever ever....EVER on themselves! Not ever...! Don't you even dare think such thing of a saint like this! The saint is often an extremely self-righteous person. If you insist on their fault they can turn into a rude, arrogant and argumentative bug.)

* The synthetic ("friendly" in your face and lashes about you behind your back. Words like gossipy, nosy and "know-it-all" partially describes this type. Seriously if this person does it with everyone else, what makes you think you're the exception?)

I'm sure you signaled quite a few people in the above-mentioned examples, didnt you? Did you also signal yourself?

There are plenty more examples of people who can be toxic... I'm sure...go on a quest and find out for yourself.

Those of you who know me, also know that I can be quite tolerant, patient & blah blah blah. But honestly, who can keep it all together for a long while with someone who damages your physical, mental and or emotional well-being?
If poison is poured on your arm, you don't just stand there and watch it burn and eat your flesh do you? So why do it when it comes to these toxins??? (sigh)
I pray for knowledge to deal with these, seriously...or else money to pay my bail-out! But either way, I need them to give me a frigging break and go drown themselves in their own venomous gal elsewhere. ELSEWHERE!!! I thank them very (incredibly) much...can't show you the magnitude of this gratitude. But it comes from the deepest part of my heart...and it overflows... Oh sure it does...

I know, the post doesn't really contain any inspirational messages today or anything.  I'm sorry, I just needed to vent... And, to be honest, it does feel better (thou you've just finished reading the 10x reviewed and partially adapted (PG-13) version of the venting). Thanks for allowing me to lighten the burden from on my shoulder...

And by the way, here's still wishing you a toxic-free remaining of the week. (hoping I can count on the same...so far it's been ok

0 False hopes???

Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Where exactly does an unkept promise go? Does that trust which comes to die, ever get a chance to be restored again, when in fact it has been taken away and smashed to the wall? And when the feeling dies? Then what?
We’ve all been promised something at some point in our lives. And we’ve all made promises sometime; be it big or small.
Some promises can have an enormous emotional value to a person, to the point where it literally takes over some part of his/her existence.
Regardless of the high level of importance a promise can occupy, we choose sometimes not to be careful with our promises. We throw promises around without even giving it a second thought. And these words only land in a bottomless pit.
Do we ever realize how profoundly we can hurt someone that took that promise we’ve made to heart? Do we realize the damage we can cause?
Do we even know, how we actually sign a pact with every single promise made? Verbally, emotionally, mentally...literally...an irrevocable settlement is made.
What happens if you don’t keep yourself to your work contract? What if we sign an agreement with the bank and fail to comply? We lose our job, we get locked up or the bailiff pays a visit to your house... In some way, we pay!! So, why than are we so not careful with our promises?
You promised your love, your heart and dedication to a certain someone, be it your spouse or simply someone you fell for. Should that promise ever come to lose value, because to your opinion “you‘ve met someone else that tingles your dingles”?
You promised your friendship... “In spite of it all, you can depend on me...”. Comes along one disagreement or that person hurts you in some way or another, and that instantly gives you the right to undo your promise. Right?
We promised we’d be there for one another... But are we REALLY there? ARE WE?
Think of all the promises you’ve been made. The ones that weren’t kept, how did they affect you?  But wait!!! Most important of all, trace back for a moment...all the promises you’ve made to people. Put them down on paper, for as far as you can remember... How careful have you been to bringing these to completion? Come on, be honest with yourself.
Is there anything (ANYTHING) that really gives us the right to break a promise? If so, enlighten me please...
One thing I now know for real, promises are put to the test at some point. They all do! Eventually they’ll get shaken, like earth quakes, to prove how deep they were really anchored when they were made. Then, when that moment comes, what will remain standing?
Don’t be too quick to make a promise; whether with your attitude or with words. A broken promise literally tears something from within the person; it tears away their trust, it touches their hopes and even a moment of joy it takes away. And if the person buried the promise deep within their hearts, like a valued treasure, than it does tear away a corner of their heart as well. If you couldn’t care less about the other person (which I doubt), at least stand still that this attitude also tears away YOUR CREDIBILITY...
It is better, always, to promise little and accomplish much; than to promise the world to people and yet give nothing...
I mean...just saying.

0 The day Smiley was born...

Friday, April 13, 2012
You know how, when something happens, mostly everyone have their own version of the story? Well, here's my version of something that happened to me... I actually used it as a speech 2 years ago. And yes, it happened to me! It's almost time to celebrate another "anniversary"...

On the evening of april the 22, Smiley was born. And contrary to most births, where people expect the new addition with joy and wonder, Smiley was rather received with shock and silence.
No one really expected Smiley. No one really wanted Smiley to arrive. But Smiley changed everything on that night in april; especially the life of an 8 year old girl who found herself bound to live with Smiley for the rest of her life.

It all started as a whispering of a thoughtless wish with a hint of superstition.
You see, it came to happen that somewhere around the time Smiley was born, my eldest brother fractured his leg walking home from school. And as a logical consequence thereof, he couldn't move around easily and thus couldn't do much for himself. I guess it was because my eldest brother thought of me as the spoiled kid, but he appeared to use the circumstances pretty well to work on my nerves. Go get him something in the kitchen, get him the tv remote, go get him the book of crosswords puzzle, do this, do that... Cause the poor poor boy couldn't do any of it for himself.
And then, somewhere around april 22nd my second brother found one piece of a golden earring somewhere and brought it home. Normally such findings would have been nonsense; but back then, to my elders, it seemed to be a sign of bad luck.
But what would an 8 year old know about bad luck? To be honest, I don't even remember if it was just the finding of the earring that was supposed to bring bad luck or if it was the fact that he brought it home.
To me, life went on. And with life, the new task of helping my eldest brother around was becoming a daily routine. A routine that I was slowly but steadily getting sick and tired of. Until one day, totally frustrated and angry I whispered between my teeth..."I wish something would have also happened to my leg...so everyone would do everything for me too".

April the 22nd, my godmothers' birthday. And she decided to have this home celebration with family and friends. For me, these celebrations only meant one thing; meeting up with the other kids and play until our parents stopped us from running around the place or until it's time to go home. In this case both our parents decided not to attend. But me and my brother's were allowed to go with my aunt. You know what this meant right? Playing my heart out! No parent to stop me from running, to tell me to sit down for a while or to obstruct my fun in ANY way...
And I tell you, I played as if there would be no tomorrow. I ran around the whole night. I played tag, a game called "Anne Maria Cuckoo" and finally a good game of hide and seek...

Now, you see, it wasn't my turn to seek...still I found it amusing to walk around after the one who's turn it was. Just to see how she did...
Excitement grew as we preached the bedroom where (some of us knew) one of my cousins was hidden. The girl who was seeking slowly opened the door, to find the older boys playing video games...and yes, my cousin silently hidden between them. A tumult of screaming, pushing and running kids broke loose, as we all hurriedly tried making it outside to see who of the two would make it first...
What I didn't notice in my excitement was, that my godmother opened her front door differently that night. So while the other kids ran through the opening, I ran straight into the glass door; which due to the impact immediately broke from top to bottom.

In the first seconds thereafter I just...stood there...motionless, with my knee still slightly up...and I watched as the last big piece of glass slid out of the huge cut and fell on the blood covered floor. And everything changed. There I stood, in my godmothers' living room, with a cut from one side of the knee to another. And to my knowledge, not a single soul moved.
I? I was so shocked I couldn't cry, I couldn't say a word, I can't even remember what I was thinking. Silence took over, everyone watched in shock and at that moment the party stopped.

As the kids I was playing with approached me with open mouths and the people who were partying in the backyard slowly filled the house to see what happened, I slowly started realizing that this wasn't going to be OK with some medicine and a bandage. I remember looking back to see if I could find those eyes who could tell me that it was going to be fine. But I couldn't find those... And something heavily sank in my stomach...what was going to happen now? I do remember catching the glance of both my older brothers thou. But their expression was actually translated  in disbelief and worry. Somehow they had that question mark on their faces...you know, that mark that said "what just happened? And how are we going to tell mom?"

I was brought to the ER, and dad came in to see me and bring me some clothes. And as I realized that my father had to go home without me, the first tears for the night came up. At that moment, the pain really sunk in, and all the questions arose "what have I gotten myself into? What's going to happen now? Why this? How long? When? Who? "
Had to get a surgery the next morning to repair the tendons and properly close the wound. And after that followed, a hospital stay I considered to be too long. But yes sir...everyone had to help me around for a while thereafter. Everyone had to do stuff for me indeed...as I wished for...

And thus, on the evening of april the 22nd, Smiley was born... And contrary to most births where people expect the new addition with joy and wonder, Smiley was rather received with shock and silence.
No one really expected Smiley, no one really wanted Smiley to arrive. But Smiley changed everything on that night in april, especially the life of an 8 year old girl who found herself bound to live with Smiley for the rest of her life.
And yes, she named it Smiley...not just because of the fact that the scar literally looks like a huge smile on her right knee; but also because she can literally smile at the thought of the multiple lessons she learned from this experience. The scar will probably never fade away, but she is thankful, nevertheless, that it wasn't (for example) her face she hit in the glass door back then or that the accident didn't leave her handicapped or lifeless. She's also aware now, that a mothers teaching is to be taken at heart, even when mommy's not around. She knows now to be careful what she wishes for. And hey, she's got a credible story to tell her children why not to run in the house...

2 After the 40th day: Tha- Tha- That's all folks!

Friday, April 6, 2012
Should have written you like 3 days ago...
But believe it or not, a lot has happened in these past 3 days.

First, we got to what would have been our last training last Tuesday...all excited and confident; only to learn that the challenge has been prolonged with a few days. "We'll weigh in on Friday morning instead of Wednesday," said the Managing Director of the INM (and our Kickboxing Trainer), "one of your mates messaged me and asked me to give you guys an extra few days, since she cheated". (Sy raises the right eyebrow and turns bitchy-mode on) At that exact moment I knew exactly who did that, because she asked me the weekend before what I thought about this same idea and I told her there's no way I'd support such a request. To top it all off...she wasn't coming to the training sessions...I cannot even remember the last time I saw her!
WHAT??? If she cheated...why should we all pay??? Believe me, heaven knows why that girl wasn't present at this particular training, 'cause I would have turned all Shaniqua on her for being so selfish...
Good thing we got to punch and kick our stress off that night. And with every punch i ranted about this being unfair, and how she'd probably be home relaxing now while we were being abused, and how I'd like to explain some things to her right about now, and blah blah blah so on...
The bad thing is, that the trainer assumed that while I had breath to rant I still had strength to fight on...so I got to train longer than the other folks...DANG IT!

In the end we sat with the Managing Director and fought our cause (kind of) and only got one extra day of training (instead of two). So instead of weighing in on Wednesday morning, we trained that night and weighed in on Thursday morning instead.
Man, it took me every last drop of endurance to make it. The steak-diet was starting to "yuck" me out, I was worn totally out physically and mentally I already closed the chapter... But I did it!!!

And yesterday morning...FINALLY....the last weigh in and photo session. I didn't loose any more weight since Saturday, so the final mount of weight lost over the past 40 days is still a slamming 9,5 Kgs. Proud of myself...VERY PROUD!! :D.  (Sy takes a gracious bow)
The Managing Director of the INM said he knew I could have actually lost more than that. And he was right. I didn't always give my all in training, and I cheated too here and there. But hey, I can't complain about the results either...
About the photo sessions, well on day one they took front and sideways pictures of us, so yesterday we stood again in that same place in front of the white door in the INM store to take our after-pictures. I'm excited to see those pictures being compared. If I can get a grip on those I might post it so you can see it too... (NOTE: I said "might".) :-p

Last night I finally got to sleep all the tiredness off. And I slept for more than 12 hours straight. Didn't even wake up to use the toilet. Boy, that rest felt SO GOOD!!!! AMAZING....
This Monday the Weight Loss Challenge crew is having a get-together...to celebrate, de-stress, and I don't know what else. I'm really looking forward to it...

For what my weight is concerned, I subscribed with the Managing Director to keep up with the kickboxing training after this... 2x a week. And I have a deal with my sister-in-law about further weight loss efforts. I just hope she cleaned out the fridge of microwaveable pizzas and put her peanut butter crackers aside...LOL.
We still need to define how this weight loss thing is going to have to be... I'm up for it!

Anyways folks, I'm going to have to leave you now. Not that I have anything to do in particular (actually I do have, but I'm procrastinating), but this is supposed to be something like a laaaazzzzzyyyy Friday for me here...

So see you guys around!

A bit thinner, happy, relaxing and definitely stronger,


0 Day 38: Behold, the end is near

Monday, April 2, 2012
Been busy, been busy...been crazily busy.
So don't blame me for the late update...blame the schedule...aha...the hectic schedule.

As you might have noticed, we're reaching the top of this huge mountain called "40 Days Weight Loss Challenge". Just a few more steps, and we can enjoy the view from the highest peek and fill our lungs with fresh air.
Oh I can hardly wait...

Thou I haven't reached my desired weight as yet. And I intend to continue watching my eating habits and throw some matches on the body's fire...so it might keep on burning. But I'm not ready for another intense training schedule and severe diet as yet...wait...I need to catch some air!

Last Saturday was the last boot-camp training session for this challenge, and of course weigh in too.
Now, problem was that I only realized on the Tuesday before that I haven't been properly to the toilet for more than a week. You know, ahum...constipation...
But what was I supposed to do? The crammed intestines would make the body heavier somehow...
So I drank laxative tea on Friday night...expecting it to work in the midnight or at least early in the morning.
But Saturday came and it was time to leave the house..and still not even the mere stomach rumble to indicate that delivery was on its way...

I sent the trainer a message in advance and asked her to forget to bring the scale...I said to her, "it will be OUR secret ok?...don't you find that exciting??? A secret only you and I know of". No results...
So to make the whole story short....(stating the obvious) I had to weigh in. With the whole traffic jam going on inside...somewhere down there. But to my surprise, one more kg is GONE!! Believe me, for a moment there, I stood perplexed. 'cause physically I felt so....heavy! That brings us to a total of 9,5...
This Wednesday is the very last weigh in...and than...THE END!!!!!

By the way...the tea didn't help at all...I took "fresh" home-made tamarind juice later on that Saturday. Nature couldn't have created a better antidote...a remedy maid in heaven. Cleared all the roads before Sunday morning... such a relief!

On another note...
Today I did something totally crazy. But in the end I enjoyed it. And I felt SO proud. Well...we're almost done but at least today and tomorrow there's still training (read: hardcore kick-boxing mad stuff).
So I came home after work,changed up, got water, keys, my mobile and headphones....and headed to training...by foot! Got there in about 20 minutes, worked my ass off (literally) in training and then walked back home. Yup...I climbed THAT hill after such harsh training (for those of you who know where I live). But I got home completely satisfied and with a smile on my face. No difficulties or obstacles on the way...other than some dog to whom I apparently appeared delicious and whom I had to convince a couple of times that he wasn't my type...

But anyway, I feel as thou I'm writing you an encyclopedia today. No-can-do! And my eyelids are also getting heavier by the minute..
So...yea..am signing out for the day.

Steps away from the finish line...


2 Distance...it also works the other way around!

Monday, March 26, 2012

We've all heard them say that distance makes the heart grow fonder. And in certain way it has proved itself to be true.

Then again  sometimes distance simply made hearts grow apart...indifferent...cold...DISTANT!!!
Whatever you used to feel for each other vanishes like ashes in the wind... love, infatuation, admiration, appreciation...GONE!
No I don't mean to say that they' d seize to exist in full. Because strong feelings, like love...real love, will difficulty go away just like that. But simply, that person or situation doesn't trigger the same (warm) feelings anymore in you after distance came between the two of you. Be it physical, mental or just emotional distance.

At times we may even come to forget that which caused the separation in the first place. And sometimes when you mentally and/or emotionally mature, old reasons you might have used for separation...may even seem futile. Meaning that, some of us will come to regret at times that we burned the bridges that connected the two of us...that we've built some kind of a fortress in between. Because sometimes, only when it's too late, we'll realize that the relationship was actually too important to have meaningless momentary perceptions and feelings ruin it...forever.

Something always grow between people who are in contact with each other. Sometimes it's a warm and beautiful feeling towards the other person, consisting of appreciation, like, love, passion, admiration, respect, understanding, care etc. And at times...chills break loose and build up a frozen cold, tall, hard wall that separates the two of you.

If it's the one or the other....only you decide.

I think we ought to be careful about decisions we make concerning the people we say that matters in our lives.
If a person means to you, what you say they do...then be careful what you allow to grow between the two of you....a cold hard wall or a warm comforting flame..choice is yours.
I mean,....just saying...

0 Day 30: weighting to exhale... :)

Sunday, March 25, 2012
(cheerful music in the background)
Master of ceremony: "Ladies and gentlemen..."


Nah...never mind that entrance!

So hey lovebugs!!! Today was day 30 of the weight-loss challenge!!!! Which means, (drum-roll) only TEN more days to go. And I can hardly wait...

This weekend was...uhm... interesting!

On saturday we headed to Caraasbaai...
Not for a relaxing dive, but for a suffocating boot camp session. The trainer chose nothing more than all the streets with hills. What happened next, was a nightmare... Sprint uphill, lunge, squat, jump, jog, balance, step-ups...and culminate it all with a "no mercy" ab training when we finally sprinted back to our cars and got there totally out of breath and shaking...

Today we went to the Kenepa Chiki beach. Normally beach means relaxation and fun...and, you know, stuff like that.
But in this case all it meant was more boot-camp (Course we could swim and relax..and enjoy. THEREAFTER!).
50 jumping jacks, 30 squats, 30 plank 'n punch, 30 push-ups (no it's not just a bra thing), 40 ab training,then  get in the water and swim 3x back and forth and just when you think you can't move another hair on your body you hear that you'll get to repeat the whole circuit 3 times. Yup, from the jumping jacks allll the way to the swimming and once more to the darned jumping jacks and back...

Surprisingly enough...I survived!!! And my body's not protesting (YET). Yeay for building up endurance...
Cool thing was, one of the trainers drove my car when coming back to civilization. Drove to her house (which is like 7-10 minutes from my house, and I only got to drive the last part from her house to mine.

By the way, yesss...I weighed in as well...:P
Results? Well, another kg went down the drains this past week! (WHOOT-WHOOT!!!). This brings me to a total of 8 kgs lost. Nice job babeh!!
Imma try and lose at least 2 more in this last week so I can reach my goal of losing (at least) 10 kgs during these 40 days. If I lose more than 2 that'll be awesome of course, but if I happen to lose less I'm still proud of myself for taking the challenge and surviving it so far. And of course, for getting back on track with my weight loss..

Steak diet is also doing well so far by the way. The portions are reaaaally small and I still need to get used to eating steak and sweet potatoes so early...but it's totally doable! Of course, I cooked me some fiiine steak with minimum fat, which makes it all more delicious to survive... yummie!!

Uhm...I guess that's enough for an update now, huh? I mean, enough info for the night, right?

hehehe..anyways..need some rest, tomorrow is frigging drag-ass Monday again...
Lemme go finish the movie I was watching before I paused to update and then turn to some well needed sheep counting.

See you guys soon.



0 Day 26: I can open a restaurant...

Wednesday, March 21, 2012
And JUST when I thought this weight loss challenge would have no more surprises to offer...BAMMM...I was almost knocked unconscious by their e-mail just minutes ago.

First of all... weight loss percentages are in!! Up until now I've lost 7% of my total weight...
I don't know what that should mean for what the challenge is concerned, but to me it means something like "hmmmm, progress Sy!"
I have no idea how they count those, and I was never good with numbers anyways...so save me that trip around the block. Only thing I know is that it's got to do with the body weight, the Body Mass Index (BMI), the fat percentage and the fat millimeters... From there....BLANK!!

But anyways...7% and still three weigh in to go....

With those results I also received diet # 2...
Oh Loooooorrddd....I stood there like a block of concrete as I read it! LOL.
It all went something like this...
I opened the mail on my BlackBerry while on the phone with a lady from court. Suddenly I chuckled out loud, excused myself to the lady on the phone, opened my eyed wide, nodded and exclaimed "WHAAAAT?!?!?" (Without actually saying it out loud of course).
My new diet contains steak, steak, steak and more frigging steak. Yup...five times a day STEAK! Starting from 6am.
Lol What the..?

Uhm...I read the mail yet a couple of times after that first reaction. And I even opened it on my computer to be sure... And yes...that's what there is on my menu now...STEAK!!!!

I mean.....lol....really????? Steak with sweet potatoes at 6am? I have never in my live eaten such a thing as breakfast before! whahaha...Goshhh...

Now I'm stuck with two dozen eggs, a sealed bag of boneless chicken thighs, baby food... (pfff) Anybody want to buy them from me???

I'm literally out of words to say now...
But steak it is!!!

Bon appetite for me these two coming weeks...

On another quick note, I got a knee support from my doc today since my knee has been acting up in training lately.
And I'm altogether hoping these last two weeks go by fast enough, 'cause I'm getting worn- out, tired, exhausted and a bunch of other things I don't even find the words to describe.

But okay,
Commitment is commitment! I'm going to push on, until April 4th. After that, we'll see what happens to the remaining excess body weight.

Almost time for me to head home. Lemme go wrap up.
I'll keep you guys posted!

Totally Flabbergasted,